30 Rock

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Michael Neal: B | Grade It Now!
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Secrets And Lies

Science! What can I say about it? Literally a lot. Chances are if you don't know the answer then Science is it. How do magnets attract metal? When will the sun burn out? Where did that girl I was just talking to go? Science! The only thing more wonderfully mysterious is politics, a subject that 30 Rock gleefully leaps into week after week. It's the main obstacle for otherwise lovebirds Jack and C.C. The new couple grips each other passionately in Jack's office, in the early morning. You can feel the passion by the way he's standing behind her and we all know what that means. It's a two shot. After years of seeing Edie Falco gripped and man-handled like a Subway sub on The Sopranos, it's odd watching her play footsie with a guy who isn't a Neanderthal in track sweats. Since C.C. is suing Jack's parent company, Sheinhardt Wigs, for toxically poisoning children in Vermont, they must keep their affair private. They can rest assured of being alone since the creative types aren't early morning risers and Jonathan has been sent out to chase Italian delicacies at a non-existent bakery in Queens. Like clockwork, Lemon barges in to the sight of their secret embrace and yelps "workplace!" Jack introduces Lemon to "Lakisha Gutierrez Arafat," which sounds like a Victoria's Secret model in 2020. Lemon exchanges awkward pleasantries then "leaves them to it," and by "it" she means business, and by business she means risky. "Lemon out," she says, then exits with a child's grin.

Pete is having a gentleman's lunch -- the bento box from Sushi King and the lesbian scene from Mullholland Drive -- but Kenneth barges in wearing a Santa's cap and announces to Mr. Hornberg that in appreciation for all his hard work he's brought all his kid's to work for him. The kids pile into Pete's office wrecking his "me-time." Then...wait, this is an American Express commercial. How many 30 Rock commercials are there now? I'm sure I saw Grizz and DotCom selling me ring tones on BET.

Back to the actual show, where Jack is in Lemon's office inviting her to a dinner party. He wants to show off C.C. to his friends, and Lemon counts among them. But it must be kept private, so as Jack leaves the office, he wishes her luck battling her Alopecia problem.

At the dinner party, Lemon discovers she's only one of two invited guests, Kenneth being the other. For the sake of discretion, Jack and C.C. had to eliminate invitees with any amount of "influence, or connections, or stature," so dinner consists of Kenneth asking Lemon questions from his note cards. "Liz, tell me a painful story about your teenage years."

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30 Rock

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