The young Liz Lemon: [holding up two teddy bears] This is my husband, Saul Rosenbear, and this is his son Richard, from a previous marriage.
Liz in the present day: And then he cheated on me with a lamb.
Horrifying or funny? You make the call:
Tracy: Liz Lemon, me and this dude used to do stand-up together. Remember the night we had the three-way with Elayne Boosler?
Jerry Seinfeld: I don't think that was me.
Tracy: Oh, yeah. You know what? I think that was a mirror.
If there was such a land, Vanity Fair would have already reported on it:
Jerry: Jack, I was vacationing with my family in Europe, in a country only rich people know about --
Jerry: No, better. But I can't tell you.
The honeymoon always ends too soon:
Tracy: I'm mad at you, Kenneth. I've seen the way you looked at Seinfeld. You used to look at me like that. What? Am I not a big enough star for you anymore?
Kenneth: I am not even going to dignify that with an answer. [Gets up, walks over, whirls around to face Tracy] Especially after I picked out all these throw pillows for in here, and you didn't even notice!
If this happened in a dream, you'd chalk it up to too many Wednesday tacos:
Liz: [walks out in the wedding dress] Hello, Jerry.
Jerry: Well, well, well. You called that boyfriend! Did it go well?
Liz: No, it didn't, Jer. [begins to get teary] A woman answered.
Jerry: Another woman already? What did you say to her?
Liz: [voice rising as she gets more upset] I did a fake survey!
Jerry: [voice rising because that's his thing] You did a fake survey?
Liz: I know! I'm not over it! And now I'm wearing this! What is the deal with my life?
Jerry: Are you imitating me?
Liz: Noooooo! This is what I sound like when I cry!
Jerry: I think I'm a little insulted!
Liz: You're insulted? I'm crying!
The Diet Hansen's All Natural Black Cherry Extended Set-up of the Night:
Liz: [at the 0:22 mark] I don't need society's permission to buy a white dress! Who says this is a wedding dress anyways? In Korea, they wear white to funerals!
[At the 0:25 mark, as she's eating two separate meals alone on a stage ...]
Tracy: Oh, no! Did a Korean person die?
This beats the Trash the Dress movement all to hell:
Jack: Good God, Lemon, what's happened to you? I thought this was going to be your year!