30 Rock

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Michael Neal: B- | Grade It Now!
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God Vs. McDonald's

It's date night inside the Lemon household. She and Dr. Baird finish their stew in the living room. "It's my own recipe, where I use cheddar cheese instead of water," says Lemon. Dr. Baird tells her he's happy they decided to stay in on Valentine's Day and take things slow. They make the usual small talk. Lemon is about to spill to him the charming personal story behind where she grew up but then one of her boobs spills out of her blouse. Dr. Baird is a gentleman and lets her know. "I can see all of it," he admits.

Two sad (and very blue-eyed) Jesus statues set the scene for the Catholic church where Jack and Elisa are attending the feast of the martyrdom of Saint Valentine. Jack checks his watch, pulls out his cell phone, and calls Jonathan. As Jonathan answers, everybody kneels to say the Lord's Prayer... everybody but Jack:

"Our Jonathan, who art in the office,
Hallowed be thy reservation.
If you are able, hold my table,
At Plunder,
As we will not be there by seven.
Have them delay our heavenly dessert,
And forgive us our lateness,
As we forgive those who cause lateness against us."

Elisa tells Jack something in Spanish, and in a very accusatory tone. Back at Lemon's place, she and the doctor share a moment on the couch. He looks ready to kiss her, but Lemon excuses herself to the other room. She turns up the volume of the stereo, and when she's clear of the doctor, hunches over with the cramps. "Cheese stew, what was I thinking?" It's a painfully accurate moment for anyone who has ever tried to score with a virtual stranger at his or her apartment. Any kind of bowel movement during courtship is an unwelcomed, unplanned and unavoidable madcap circumstance, especially as it pertains to cheddar. The smoke alarm in the kitchen goes off, and so Dr. Baird walks over to check on the brownies in the oven. Lemon says it's okay to take them out, "but whatever you do, don't open that kitchen window." Of course, he opens the kitchen window. A draft of wind is ushered in and blows open the bathroom door while she's still planted on the toilet. Dr. Baird sees Lemon in the bathroom and yells "Too soon!" The boob spill was like going from date #1 to date #4, but this has them at date #20. Lemon apologizes, Dr. Baird reminds her that he's a doctor, and then his phone rings. It's a call from his ex-wife Mandy. She's downstairs and is dropping off their daughter Bethany, unannounced. He explains that normally his mother could help watch Bethany, but she's sick in the hospital, and then he proposes something interesting. Between the boob slip, the bathroom blooper, and now this, why don't they continue the date, warts and all. He calls it the express train to a relationship, and asks if Lemon's on board? "I'm on the train," she says.

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30 Rock

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