30 Rock

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Michael Neal: B- | Grade It Now!
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God Vs. McDonald's

Just as Dr. Baird's daughter Bethany begins to tell Lemon about the sexual favors she performed to earn the five bracelets on her wrist, Dr. Baird walks back into the room and gets a phone call from his sister Gloria. She's crying. It appears that mom has taken a turn for the worse, and now he must go visit her in the hospital. Lemon assumes he'd want to call off the date at this point, but it's quite the opposite. He asks her to join him. Bethany chugs the remainder of the wine from the bottle.

Meanwhile, on Kenneth/Tracy's date with the blind girl, a soft piano imbues the room with romance. "Entertainment?" asks Jennifer. Jenna is set to sing a romantic song, but not before Tracy can ad-lib, "Not just any entertainment. The best singer in the world, Michael McDonald." It's like an episode of Whose Line Is It, Anyway? Jennifer shrieks in enjoyment, and Jenna hammers out a horrible rendition of "What A Fool Believes." By the way, did you know February is Michael McDonald History Month? He's everywhere of late, and that's a good thing. "He's not good live," whispers Jennifer.

Elisa and Jack have it out outside of the church. Elisa's problem is that Jack has no faith. He intellectualizes everything with his big head. "Well, you have big boobs," snaps Jack. Elisa questions the basis of their being together. She believes that maybe the church experience is a sign; maybe they shouldn't be together. To Jack, divinity is not a factor: "God wants us to leave here, get a good meal, and go to town on each other." Elisa smacks Jack in the face, and refuses to go with him to the restaurant.

Dr. Baird charges into the hospital room and is immediately embraced by his sister. Lemon gets a much colder reception, and then his mother asks to speak to her son alone. All of the other family shuffles out, but Dr. Baird clasps Liz's hand tight and doesn't let her leave. Meanwhile at Plunder, Jack sits by himself, lonely, and watches his $1,000 dessert melt away without a bite. The dessert, before so cherished, suffers under a different context now. It is a sad reminder of our current economic crisis... oh, and Elisa, I guess.

At the hospital, Dr. Baird goes to look at his mother's chart, leaving her alone with Lemon. The old, befuddled matriarch takes Lemon by the hand and calls her Mandy. She thinks Lemon is her son's ex-wife, and then tells her to tell her son that the woman he thinks is his sister is really his mother. Dr. Baird's mom is really his grandmother. In Spanish it's abuela. "You have to tell him, or I won't get into heaven," she says to Liz. Then she dies. Awkward. It would have made for a great graphic on an episode of Blind Date, though. Therapist Joe says: men who are lied to for all their life are very hostile toward women.

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30 Rock

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