30 Rock

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Smack Talk for Dummies

Georgia hotel, next morning. Jack interrupts Lemon watching the local news to tell her they can leave because he's found their new cast member. She doesn't think a redneck ventriloquist will resonate, but Jack thinks his folksy, simple comedy will strike a chord with Middle America. He tells her to trust him, but she refuses to give the okay until she sees him.

30 Rock. Jimmy Fallon, still getting his bearings around the studios, finds Tracy in his dressing room clutching a pillow in fear for his life. Tracy establishes that Fallon is a celebrity and offers to show him a "shortcut" to Studio 6B. A moment later, Tracy leads Fallon through the dark passageways of the studio, making sure Fallon walks in front. Just as Tracy grabs a hammer to complete the unholy trinity, Kenneth crosses their path. Fallon scurries off, still alive. Blast it! Kenneth tells Tracy he doesn't need to worry because there is no Rule of Threes. Just then, Fallon comes surging back with an ax in hand. They declare truce, but Fallon vows to kill his first guest (a dog who plays soccer) if another celebrity doesn't die before the day's out. And then some fun is had with how crappy Fallon's show is.

Georgia hotel. Lemon drinks Peppy Bismilk and talks with Pete on the phone. She tells him she plans to heckle Rick and Pumkin until they don't want to join the TGS cast anymore.

Back at the studio, Cerie in a teeny-weeny polka dot bikini shows the guys her costume: Italian senator. They high-five about their crazy night to come. That is, until Jenna comes up and tells them she could make it all go away with one word. They ask what she wants. She demands two good sketches a week, a promise to hate the new cast member, and no more jokes about her dated cultural references. She asks, "Okay? Are we cowabunga on this?" They call it a deal. She adds one last stipulation that, if she wakes up with one of them tomorrow morning, he will buy her breakfast.

Meeting with Rick Wayne. Lemon mainlines Gatorade as the last pig goes down the Chuckle Shoot. The slaughter house officially becomes The Laugh Factory and, look! There's Kennethina Purcell! Lemon psyches herself up as Rick Wayne and Pumkin take the stage. Before the act can even start, she throws out her first barb. And you better believe Rick Wayne and Pumkin give it to her good. That Pumkin is nasty. Jack takes up for Lemon, but it backfires horribly, ending in a slam from Pumkin that Jack's head is so big they could build a Super Wal-Mart in it. Then he makes the requisite homophobic punch line, prompting Jack to rush the stage to throw down with a dummy. Yep. You heard me. Kennethina watches in consternation as Jack chokes, punches, kicks, and, finally, beheads that little scoundrel Pumkin. He orders Lemon to get the keys, then chucks the head at Kennethina before making a run for it. So I guess the trip to Toronto is back on, then, eh?

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30 Rock

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