30 Rock. Jenna enters the writers' room to tell all the "non-famouses" the good news that she's hit the Internet, via the website JoanOfSnark.com. The writers look at Jenna's write-up as Lemon explains that JoanOfSnark dishes on celebrity gossip and features listicles on things like which celebs have the worst beach bodies (Ruth Bader Ginsburg!). Jenna says the article deems her one the freshest new voices in comedy. Toofer quickly corrects her, pointing out that the article she's looking at is about another comedienne named Abby Flynn, whose picture appears next to her under the headline. If Jenna had scrolled down further (or perhaps read the article at all), she would have seen the following article, "Why TGS Hates Women." Lemon thinks that idea is crazy, especially since it's all Jenna, all the time during Tracy's sabbatical to "Africa." Cut to clips of Jenna playing Amelia Earhart and Hillary Clinton, both of whom screw up their jobs when they get their periods. Lemon claims the jokes were ironic re-appropriations of sexism but immediately recognizes she's on thin ice. She stands up indignantly and spews about how TGS -- formerly known as The Girlie Show, fans from way back -- has a responsibility to lift up women. Then she screams, "Ohhhh, my period. You're all fired!" and collapses to the floor. Credits.
Jack's office. Lemon asks the boss man if he thinks she hates women. He says yes, but argues that she's pre-disposed to view other women as competition for the attention of powerful men such as himself, Hercules, the Highlander and God. Lemon retorts, "I want to roll my eyes right now, but the doctor said if I keep doing it, my ocular muscles might spasm and eject my eyeballs." Jack says attempts to breed the competitive streak out of women have only ended with lesbians with hip dysplasia. Lemon insists she supports other women (like a human bra) and, as such, wants to hire this Abby Flynn. Jack starts to claim it's not in the budget, then he sees Abby's photo and practically leaps on board. He justifies his change of heart by quoting Kabletown CEO Hank Hooper's autobiography, "New blood is the life blood of every company's blood," then he qualifies, "He's not a strong writer." He tells Lemon he plans to succeed Hooper in the near future. Lemon says if he believes in himself, he'll reach his goals -- she read that on a bottle of women's exercise water. Jack explains that it's not that simple, because Kabletown is family-owned, so he'll have to destroy Hooper's Bieber-loving 14-year-old granddaughter Kaley (kick-ass actual 14-year-old Chloe Moretz) by guiding her toward the same useless pastimes as her trust-funded relatives, who are variously smoking pot and painting (her aunt) or trying to sail an inflatable castle across the ocean (her father). He thinks she can find some other reasonable occupation, such as "a doctor's nurse or a lawyer's mistress or even the President of the United States... Shopping Association." Lemon takes umbrage because, while Jack is scheming to thwart a young girl's dreams, she is trying to help women achieve their potential -- "Because potential is the difference between what you can't do and what can't you do." Jack snarkily asks if she read that little gem off of a water bottle. She snips that no, she submitted it to AquaFem but was rejected. So there!