Writers' room. Frank excitedly tells the guys (and Cerie... and the German girl) that Operation: Abby Flynn is on. Lutz: "Girl coming!" Frank says they need to immediately devise a plan so Abby doesn't immediately notice what losers they are. He suggests they each create an alter ego. Frank will be rich, Toofer will be a bad boy, and Lutz will be British... "because chicks dig British guys... Sir Ian McKellen? That dude must be knee-deep in boob!" Frank threatens to sic Lutz and his shirtless Xbox Kinect antics on the other writers. Pete speaks on behalf of everyone when he agrees immediately and desperately.
Out in the corridor, Jack and Kenneth take Kaley on the grand tour of TGS. Oh, how I hope this ends up with an age-inappropriate crush on Kenneth! Jack subtly probes the youngster in hopes of discerning her dreams and inspiring her to stay away from boring old TV. Kaley admits that she secretly yearns to be a marine biologist. Jack realizes that he has at least a few cards up his sleeve as a personal friend of Titanic-discovering oceanographer Bob Ballard and a board member of the American Museum of Natural History. Kaley screams harder about this than she did about being a Belieber. Jack promises Kaley a private tour of the museum led by Ballard himself. She says that would be amazing, and Kenneth continues to tour. Next pit stop: Brian Williams' bathroom!
Writers' room. Lemon gets a sneak preview of the guys' new personae when she announces that Abby is on her way up. She immediately catches wise to their ploy and tells a tuxedoed Subas to get back to work... and his wife. Lemon tells the guys that Abby's arrival signals a new era and the end of male douchebaggery at TGS because she's "talkin' 'bout a femolution." She proudly attributes the turn of phrase to Tracy Chapman, then asks nervously, "She's a woman, right?" As she challenges the blogosphere to call her a woman-hater again, Abby enters, full-on pigtails and helium voice and schoolgirl giggling and claims that she "smelled sausage" all the way down the hall. Lemon introduces herself, and they have an introductory hug. Abby titters that their "nips just touched," adding, "mine are so hard!" Lemon chimes in, "Mine are different sizes," then introduces Abby to the writers. Abby leans over a chair and presses her cleavage up with its back as she purrs that she might have to sit on someone's lap in this crowded room. She eenie-meenies until she lands on Frank. She plops down near his jock, splays her right leg up onto the table, and sucks her thumb in between giggles. Lemon calls to her higher power: "Give me strength, oh Oprah."