30 Rock

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: C- | 3 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
The Women Who Hate Women or The Girl with the Lemon Tattoo

A bit later, Kenneth leads Kaley and Jack into the studio. Jack crosses paths with Lemon and asks, "Who thinks gesturing with thumbs is for poor people and is going to be the next CEO of Kabletown?" He points to himself with his pinkies and smugs, "This guy." He says he knows what every 14-year-old science geek wants. And, though Kaley may not be interested in "practicing frottage on a poster of Linda Ronstadt," he can certainly pull a few strings to make sure she abandons Kabletown for marine biology. "With my connections, I can make Kaley's dream come true," he says. Then he adds, "I should dig up my old shell collection, complete the seduction after Bob Ballard and I double-team her." Lemon strongly advises Jack to reconsider his word choice.

As they talk, Abby strolls by, flashing her headlights and sucking on a popsicle. She coos, "Is it cold in here, or is it just that I'm not wearing any underweeeeeear?" Jack tells Lemon that Abby should be careful since the company gets a tax break for hiring sex offenders. He walks off as Abby carries on her thumbsuckery. Jenna approaches Lemon and gives her a sharp slap on the cheek before asking, "What? Is? That?!" Jenna thinks she has the franchise on baby talk and vows that Abby must be destroyed. They look over, and Abby is bouncing on a trampoline, Man Show style. Lemon thinks Jenna is embracing a horrible stereotype that women are out to tear each other down. Jenna has no problem with that plan and proposes they spread a rumor about Abby, just like she did to Jamie Lee Curtis. She leans in conspiratorially and reveals this damning rumor, "That she has two butts!" Lemon tells Jenna they should achieve their mutual goals by fixing Abby. Jenna hisses, "Yes, like you fix a dog. We'll sterilize her!" Lemon had something else in mind -- show Abby that there is another way. They look back to see that Jack has joined Abby on the trampoline, and I suspect this is going to be an uphill battle.

American Museum of Natural History. Jack, Kaley and Dr. Ballard nerd out over the ocean life. Jack tells Kaley she can blaze new trails in oceanography, and Ballard gives her a membership to the Student Argonauts. She squeals in ecstasy, and Ballard says, "You already speak dolphin? Excellent!" Jack queries whether there's an age cutoff for the Student Argonauts, and Kaley notices that he seems to love the science of the sea. He tells her his days of fantasizing about science are gone, but as she walks off with Ballard, his eyes take on a wistful look. Cue fantasy: Jack as Ahab. Thankfully, Ballard cuts off that sad display.

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30 Rock

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