30 Rock

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Hey, Good Lookin', Don't Poison Me with Your Cookin'
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

We open as Lemon heads out for lunch with Drew. Kenneth gives her some sage advice... from the Wild West. Tracy interrupts because he has certain cravings that only Kenneth can predict. Kenneth goes off with him to rub his feet, and Lemon runs into Jack. They discuss Tracy's upcoming contract negotiation and reminisce about all the wacky events of the last three years. Jack mentions that he is handling Tracy's contract negotiation himself, which might be difficult because Tracy no longer has any need for money. Jack thinks that his personal relationship with Tracy will trump any of Tracy's monetary needs. He shows Lemon the "BFF" bracelet that matches Tracy's. Lemon learns that there is another, far dirtier meaning to "BFF" than "Best Friends Forever." I do not even want to know when it comes to Tracy Jordan... Likewise, Lemon walks off in disgust.

A little while later, she and Drew are walking in the snow, chatting. Except they can't even complete a sentence because Drew is too busy being ogled by every Tom, Dick and Carrie on the street. In the span of a minute, he gets complimented by a random female passer-by, wiggles out of a parking ticket, and is asked by Calvin Klein to be an underwear model. Keep in mind, Drew is fully clothed from the neck down. Now you and I know that John Hamm actually looks like this underneath it all, but for all CK1 knows, he could end up with some serious butter body hanging up in Times Square. Credits.

Back on set, Lemon learns the dirty secret of the beautiful world -- hot people get better treatment... and nookie in public places. Jack explains that The Bubble isn't always a bad thing, as was the case with him. Lemon gives him a "Bitch, please!" eye roll, so Jack pulls out a picture of a much younger, much better-looking self. Then he explains that, obviously, the perks don't last forever, so she should enjoy them while the gettin's good. Jack puts his reverse portrait of Donaghy Gray back in the protective case from which it came.

Over in the writers' room, Jenna announces that she is going to cut her hair for charity. Kenneth asks why. She explains that Tracy has stolen her own spotlight, so now she has to create her own publicity opportunities. She announces that she is getting her hair cut this Friday on The Today Show.

Over in Jack's office, he greases the wheels on renewing Tracy's contract, offering him a three percent increase. Tracy accepts pretty much immediately. Jack admits he's relieved on account of Tracy's gajillions of dollars from the video game he designed. Grizz and Dot Com try to shut him up, but Donaghy keeps on going on about the money. Apparently, Tracy hadn't yet mentally calculated his absurd net value. He quits on the spot.

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30 Rock

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