30 Rock

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Hey, Good Lookin', Don't Poison Me with Your Cookin'

Across town, Drew and Lemon hit the tennis courts. Drew notes how nice it was for "those guys to give up the court for us." Cut to a desperate gaggle of gays flirt-waving like the rent's due tomorrow. I take a moment to dolefully pine over the fact that there is actually an actor out there whose biggest credit to date is "Pathetic-Looking Tennis Gay." Drew warns Lemon that he was a tennis pro in college but says he'll take it easy on her. Moments later, they're playing. And Drew seriously sucks. Lemon jokes that it's been a long time since college, but Drew is blissfully unaware of what that means. Just then, a super-cougar butts in to ask Drew for a private lesson. Lemon begins to see the dark side of The Bubble.

And it continues on as Lemon discovers that Drew pretty much sucks at everything he does, including, but not limited to cooking (Gatorade-flavored salmon bourguignon, anyone?), sketching, sex, and even doctoring. In short, Lemon has to give herself the Heimlich.

The next day at the office, Lemon confronts Jack about all the misguided "perks" Drew has received because of his handsome mien, a.k.a. "He sucks at life." Jack admits that there are some negative consequences of unearned super-privilege. Lemon vows to tell Drew the truth and save him from living a lie, though she does admit that she let him win tennis so she could make out with him. Jack warns her to be careful, intoning, "You wake a sleepwalker, you risk getting urinated on."

He heads out just as a panicky Kenneth runs up to Lemon and tells her that Tracy quit. Jack runs up to stop the revelation, but it's too late, Lemon is miffed. Jack finesses that he's forming his counter-proposal, but at this point, Kenneth has gone into full-blown freak-out mode, which includes his real-life accent that is an unfortunate (but, of course, hilarious) combination of Southern, seriously mentally challenged, and generally prone to sputtering. Lemon lights into Jack about the fact that she has a live show to produce on Friday. Kenneth apologizes and admits he wasn't supposed to tell her about it. Lemon quickly realizes that she, for once, has the upper hand in the fuck-up department. She taunts Jack with a Donaghy impression that soon enough devolves into Christian Bale as Batman. Jack promises to handle this little snafu by show time.

Elsewhere, Team Jenna has convened to strategize this make-or-break haircut that will kick-start her "Reinvention Tour."

Meanwhile, Lemon heads into Jack's office, where Jack has arranged a conference call with Tracy and "one of Tracy's childhood idols," a.k.a. Rick from Accounting posing as Bill Cosby. Unfortunately, the call does not go as planned, because the Pudding Man schtupped Tracy's Aunt Paulette back in '71. Jack whips out a last-ditch Billy Dee Williams impersonation, to no avail. And it's back to the drawing board!

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30 Rock

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