30 Rock

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Lady Lola: B- | Grade It Now!
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Hey, Good Lookin', Don't Poison Me with Your Cookin'

And now for all the fat necks in the house...

Lemons Who Lunch
Lemon: Kenneth, I'm gonna duck uptown and have lunch with my boyfriend.
Kenneth: Yes, ma'am. Is that code for some sort of older-gal medical procedure?
Lemon: No! Kenneth, I really have a boyfriend. [Pulls out iPhone to show pictures.] Look! He's handsome and a doctor!
Kenneth: A doctor. Well, don't get too attached. As soon as people realize his tonics don't work, it's on to the next town.

Porn 'n Chicken
Tracy: Hey Ken, you know what I have a craving for?
Kenneth [pulls out paper bag]: Jerk chicken from that place in Mill Basin?
Tracy: And some...?
Kenneth [pulls out catalogue]: Catalogue photos of expectant mothers in their swimming suits?
Tracy: You're my Radar O'Reilly, Ken! Now get in here and rub my feet 'til you hear a chopper coming.

In This Economy...
Jack: Anyway, you know I'm handling the Tracy thing myself?
Lemon: Right! Play hardball! Get your business jollies!
Jack: Sadly enough, this time, with Tracy, it's not about money anymore. His company made a fortune, and he invested it all in a company that dismantled bank signs. They're doing very well.

You Don't Say!
Jack: You went to Plunder for lunch? How did you get a table?
Lemon: I don't know! It was packed, but the hostess just gave Drew a table. It is ridiculous how people treat him. The chef sent over food. Ladies sent over drinks. Mayor Bloomberg asked him to dance...
Jack: Well, beautiful people are treated differently from... moderately pleasant-looking people.
Cerie: It's true. [Flits off.]
Jack: They live in a bubble -- a bubble of free drinks, kindness and outdoor sex.

Mary Magdalene + Miss Piggy = Heaven in a Vignette
Jenna: Everyone gather 'round please, actor announcement! As you probably know, especially if you read Page Six... of my publicist's e-mails... I have decided to cut my hair and donate it to charity.
Kenneth: But Miss Maroney! Why would you cut your beautiful hair? You look just how I picture Mary Magdalene!
Jenna: Because I'm a selfless person who can't get arrested in this town. Meanwhile, Tracy's Jordan's face is everywhere.
Pete: Jenna, I already explained that. That was a police sketch of a flasher who happened to look like Tracy... we hope.

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30 Rock

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