30 Rock

Episode Report Card
Sobell: B+ | Grade It Now!
The Collection
And now, the exchanges of the evening...

It's like Stephen Colbert's fondest dream and his worst nightmare, all rolled into one
Liz: I got a call from some lawyer today who was asking me what kind of a boss you are, and how long I've known you, and what animal best describes you.
Jack: What did you say?
Liz: An eagle with the head of a bear?
Jack: Thank you. Your respect means the world to me, Lemon.

So much for the talking cure
Liz: Wait a minute -- you hired someone to investigate yourself? That's weird.
Jack: Well, you do the same thing with your therapist every week, don't you?
Liz: I had an amazing breakthrough with my therapist this weekend. I was talking about that dream I have all the time...
Jack: Ring, ring!
Liz: ...where you find...
Jack: [Talking to a phone he made out of his own hand] Hello! [to Liz, in a whisper] I'm sorry, I have to take this. Yes? Why, she's right here.
Liz: Wait a minute. That's a fake phone. [She leaves.]
Jack: She'll be right down. What else is going on?

No, it's cool -- Mrs. Astor loved B.G. and the Cash Money Millionaires
Angie: I let Tracy back in my life on two conditions. One: This. [She lifts her right hand to display a showy diamond ring.]
Liz: Bling bling! That is ghetto fabulous.
Angie: It belonged to Brooke Astor.
Liz: [whispering] It's very nice.
Angie: And the other condition: I'm with him all the time. The only things he can do is [sic] work, eat, love on me, and sleep. Isn't that right, baby?
Tracy: I'm whipped! Angie got me up at 7:30 today. Did you know that in the morning, they have food, TV, almost everything. It's pretty good.

Somewhere, Twofer is rolling his eyes, and we are missing his pain
Liz: I think this is going to be great, Angie. I think you and me are going to make a great team.
Angie: Oh? You looking for a sassy black friend?
Liuz: Oh, no, I didn't mean --
Angie: Well, you got one now, girlfriend! Go on! Rowr!

So Enormé attracts bears? Is that where we're going here?
Liz: What's Enormé?
Jenna: It's the number-one fragrance for plus-sized women?
[Cue a very Calvin Klein-esque commercial in black and white with a lot of fluttering fabric.]
Jenna: Enormé. Make him chase the chunk.
Announcer: Available exclusively at your local drug store. Do not use if menstruating.

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30 Rock




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