30 Rock

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The Collection

Jack: Are you saying it's a gay thing?
Lenny: You wish it was a gay thing.

A sci-fi fan? Suddenly those telecom stock buys make more sense
Dot-com: We open on a lone soldier walking through the desert. The year: 1961. The place...Mars.

It's all fun and games until the TSA makes you take another spoonful
Kenneth: This stuff will make you real fat, Miss Moroney. It made my dad's heart just up and give out. [darkly] And that's what made my mom's friend Ron move in. Hmmm!
Jenna: Mmmph.
Kenneth: [feeding Jenna grits by the spoonful] Coming in for a laaaanding.
Jenna: Mmmph.
Kenneth: Coming in for a laaaaaanding. B-b-b-b-b-b. Uh-oh! There's turbulence! Bbb-bbb! Now an Indian guy got up to use the bathroom and an air marshall shot him!

The Hansen's Diet Tangerine Lime Extended Set-Up of the Evening
[At the 18-minute mark]
Pete: How's it going with Angie?
Liz: Terrible. She hates me, she's hijacking the show. I've gotta go talk to Jack.
Pete: Oh -- you want a scary black lady to be nice to you? Tell her you like her nails. It always works for me at the bank.
[At the 20-minute mark]
Liz: This is what I came to talk to you about. Tracy's wife is out of control.
Jack: Did you tell her you liked her fingernails?
[At the 23-minute mark]
Angie: Are you stepping up on me?
Liz: So what if I am? Also, your nails look tacky!

A man, a plan, a cookie jar with a upside-down legend
Liz: What's with the cookie jar?
Jack: I collect them.
Liz: Really? Is that some sort of unresolved childhood thing?
Jack: Nice try. We never had any cookie jars in my home because my mother never baked us any cookies, because she felt we never deserved any cookies. So obviously it has nothing to do with my childhood.
Liz: But that cookie jar says "Mom" on it.
Jack: I don't think so. I've always viewed it as an upside-down "WOW."

It would be the first documented instance of him actually using magic
Kenneth: [brightly reading from a list Liz obviously prepared] You going to give up on this like you gave up on your relationship with David Blane?
Jenna: He's the one who drove the wedge with his magic!

I only caught that joke because I was wearing my glasses Shortly after a discussion with Jack wherein he theorizes that Angie will punch Liz in the face, Liz goes down to kick Angie off the set. She takes off her glasses before doing so.

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30 Rock

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