Out in the corridor, the writers give Lemon another "Would you rather?": Have life-long love but wear a shirt of her lover's pubes, or be alone forever. Lemon surprisingly opts for the shirt pubes -- as does Carol, who has appeared behind her. He decided to come back for her, and there's a sad, obese teen on stand-by in an airport somewhere to show for it. He says he's not ashamed she saw him cry. He's emotional, mainly because he changes altitude more than four times a day. She remembers a time he got really mad about a Giants game on TV, but he says that was about the many faces of Geico. They patter about those bastard lizards and cavemen and stacks of money with eyeballs. Carol says this shows how good they are together, but insists they need to move forward.
Lemon wonders how they can move forward when they always have limited time together. He says they should count to three and reveal something one doesn't know about the other. Hers: "On a waiting list to adopt a kid." His: "Touched by a priest." Both responses: "Wait, what?" They high-five and part ways, likely wishing they'd never gone with this harebrained "moving forward" scheme.
Inside the studio, Jack congratulates Lemon for getting into "an adult dude situation," among other things. She congratulates him for keeping his Elk Tongue wallpaper. He corrects her, saying he and the interior decorator came up with solution that works for everyone: Knock down the wall. Symbolic and symmetrical! Lemon suggests maybe this is what Avery wanted all along. Jack smiles at the realization that the wallpaper was merely a decoy, and Avery has "Hannibaled [his] Fabian." He loves her all the more for it. He says they're soul mates, as perfect a pair as whiskey and hunting. "She's your pube shirt," sages Lemon.
Bonus! Kenneth wistfully watches the end of TGS and bids goodnight to everyone. He confesses to himself that he lied to Tracy and actually misses everyone more than he can admit. As he's talking, Tracy rolls up with a custodial cart. "It's you!" cheers Kenneth. "Sure is," says Tracy, "wanna go kiss in the prop cage?" Whoops, not Tracy. Just some lecherous old janitor. What has two thumbs and a prop cage full of secrets? That guy! Jokeward, ho!
The More Things Change, The More They Stay the Same
Jack: In order for this merger to stay attractive to our friends at Kabletown, we have to seem like a sexy, profitable company, and we're almost pulling it off. The Harry Potter theme park is a huge hit with both Anglophiles and pedophiles. The movie division has a James Cameron movie the whole world will see whether they like it or not. Only NBC continues to be the engorged whitehead on the otherwise flawless face of Universal Media. Lemon, why are you spending so much money on wigs?
Lemon: Tracy's head size keeps changing.