30 Rock

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: C | Grade It Now!
Everything's Coming Up Kenneth

Cut to wallpaper swatches aplenty in Jack's office. Jack brings out the weapons in his arsenal: talking in his most seductive voice, showing off his bicep, running a hand through his luscious hair, unbuttoning his shirt, licking his lips, and leaning in real close. James looks more creeped out than vanquished.

Downstairs, Pete is rockin' some knee socks and drinkin' a cerveza when Jenna comes in to say she's figured out the last step to whittling down the budget: Cut a producer. Pete's eyes bug with fear, but Jenna shows amazing self-awareness by saying she's unnecessary. "Hmmmm," she reminisces, "the last time I said that, I was in a three-way with two of the Backstreet Boys." Pete tries to dissuade Jenna, desperately suggesting they fire Lemon. Jenna won't go for it, spouting out some corporate finance jargon through tears as she and Pete share an emotional goodbye.

Out in the corridor, the writers give Lemon another "Would you rather?": Have life-long love but wear a shirt of her lover's pubes, or be alone forever. Lemon surprisingly opts for the shirt pubes -- as does Carol, who has appeared behind her. He decided to come back for her, and there's a sad, obese teen on stand-by in an airport somewhere to show for it. He says he's not ashamed she saw him cry. He's emotional, mainly because he changes altitude more than four times a day. She remembers a time he got really mad about a Giants game on TV, but he says that was about the many faces of Geico. They patter about those bastard lizards and cavemen and stacks of money with eyeballs. Carol says this shows how good they are together, but insists they need to move forward.

Lemon wonders how they can move forward when they always have limited time together. He says they should count to three and reveal something one doesn't know about the other. Hers: "On a waiting list to adopt a kid." His: "Touched by a priest." Both responses: "Wait, what?" They high-five and part ways, likely wishing they'd never gone with this harebrained "moving forward" scheme.

Inside the studio, Jack congratulates Lemon for getting into "an adult dude situation," among other things. She congratulates him for keeping his Elk Tongue wallpaper. He corrects her, saying he and the interior decorator came up with solution that works for everyone: Knock down the wall. Symbolic and symmetrical! Lemon suggests maybe this is what Avery wanted all along. Jack smiles at the realization that the wallpaper was merely a decoy, and Avery has "Hannibaled [his] Fabian." He loves her all the more for it. He says they're soul mates, as perfect a pair as whiskey and hunting. "She's your pube shirt," sages Lemon.

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30 Rock




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