30 Rock

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I'd Rather Have A Dutch Oven

Jenna's consulting with Dr. Spaceman, who tells her that between his medical practice and the job where he... has a medical practice at NBC, he sympathizes with her predicament. He offers her some pamphlets about "stress, and diet, and doing a movie and a TV show at the same time" (Frankie Muniz is on the cover), but the real answer is drugs. And it just so happens that he's involved in a clinical trial of an anti-sleep drug that's being funded by the U.S. military and the WNBA, and he's looking for human subjects. Jenna: "Where do I sign up?" Dr. Spaceman: "Please, we don't want a paper trail." They laugh, and then he gives her a vial of pills, telling her to take 25 a day. For the rest of her life.

Liz tells the writers that she's sure she'll be back from jury duty quickly, since she has her Princess Leia costume and some vintage Playgirl magazines. Frank asks who's in charge while she's gone. Since Pete is away for spring break, Liz tells them that absolutely nobody is in charge. Kenneth is terrified at the thought that nobody will be there to abuse him, but Frank tells him that they'll all pick up the slack.

On her way out, Liz is ambushed by Tracy, who's trying to sell her half of his $100,000 watch so he can pay his fine. Liz just hopes he learned a lesson. Tracy: "I sure have. I learned if you pay some money afterwards, you can say whatever you want on TV. I can even say what Ernest Borgnine whispered to me." Liz tries to tell him that this is not, in fact, the lesson. Tracy: "That's always the lesson. If you have money, you can do whatever you want. Now I'm off to appear on Martha Stewart Live." Liz tries to follow him to talk him out of it when she's ambushed by an overly perky Jenna, who's totally psyched that her military grade anti-sleeping pills will let her continue her work on both TGS and the movie. Liz begs them (and Frank, who's back in his underwear) to give her just a couple of hours of normalsauce while she gets out of jury duty.

Princess Leia Lemon tries to scare the judge out of putting her on the jury, but he thinks she looks completely normal when compared to the rest of the New York City jury pool. [It's pretty much true. After walking around NYC every day, I wouldn't even blink twice at a grown woman in a Leia costume. - Angel] Commercials.

Dr. Spaceman observes his lab rat drinking from his water bottle and notes that the subject is unusually thirsty. Cut to Jenna in the writers' room draining a one-liter bottle of water. Jack enters, holding his pocket microwave: "Everyone shut up! Shut up, Lutz!" He needs the writers' help; it seems that legal has nixed the name he spent three years coming up with in an attempt to appeal to "the marketing holy trinity: college students, the morbidly obese and homosexuals." It appears that a Franco-Dutchman would find the chosen name, "The Bitenuker," to be horribly offensive. After saying the name, he apologizes to Ms. LaRoche Vanderhoot, who did find the name horribly offensive. Jack tells them that they're all going to help come up with a new name: "Remember, this isn't TGS. Let's not shoot for the middle this time." Also, he would like Frank to wear some pants.

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30 Rock




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