NBC's sleeper flop Bitch Hunter offends just about everyone, so the staffers at TGS invite all their moms for a special Mother's Day show. As usual, Colleen is the boldest and best at kicking ass and taking names. She heard through the grapevine that Jack is seeing two women simultaneously and spends much of the episode clucking disapprovingly and mind-fucking Kenneth. Seeing that Jack won't make a decision, she blows the whistle to Avery, who promptly lays down an ultimatum. Jack is furious, but Colleen explains that she's just making sure that someone will be there to take care of playboy Jack after she's gone. Perhaps someone should tend to Kenneth first, though, because Colleen's toyed with him so much, he doesn't remember his own name.

Lemon's mother also spread the message of marriage and stability. Except hers is much grimmer than Lemon hopes. Mrs. Lemon reveals that she was very much in love with a boy named Ed when she was in high school. They humped like bunnies before Ed shipped off to Korea, but when he returned the timing was off. So he took the job he'd been offered at NASA (turns out "Ed" was Lemon's mom's nickname for Buzz Aldrin), and Mrs. Lemon settled for any old Dick. Dick Lemon, that is. Lemon nearly blows her top that not only did her mom pass up the chance to be an astronaut's wife, she also gave up on true love. Determined to find her Mike Dexter, Lemon manages to swing a meet-and-greet with Buzz Aldrin through Jack. But, as we know, Buzz is not only a terrible dancer but also a former raging alcoholic with depression issues. He assures Lemon that her mother missed a lot of bad times by not choosing him. Lemon finds some consolation in this, finally realizing that Mike Dexter is an even more unattainable goal than walking on the moon. She thanks her mom for choosing the right man (and, you know, giving birth to her). In return, Mrs. Lemon begs her to start having babies, stat.

Verna returns for the second half of the "being Jenna's mom" money that Jack promised her some time ago. She doesn't just want it, she needs it, or else she'll be stuck with one high and firm breast, one sagging and floppy breast for the rest of her life. Yep, she got half an augmentation. Always thinking things through that Verna. But collecting the money is harder for her than she could have imagined, as Jenna's less willing to submit to her romper-wearing schemes than she thought. She nearly walks away with one low-hanger until Jack reminds her what's at stake. Verna sucks it up for the sake of her left mammary, and Jenna remains none the wiser.

Tracy might as well have been raised by bar mitzvah-ing werewolves for all he knows about his own mother. He gives such a sketchy description that Pete decides to just hire an actress to play Mrs. Morgan. He finds a perfect candidate in a well-respected but still low-profile Brooklyn actress, but Tracy thinks she's beneath him. They scrap and storm off. After a heart-to-heart with Jenna and a glimpse of the Maroneys' (money-fueled) love, Tracy realizes that he does want a mother, even if she didn't rip her cooch having him. It's a win-win for everyone, really.