30 Rock

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Lady Lola: D | Grade It Now!
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Mama Drama

Back downstairs, Danny introduces his mom Miho to Lutz. As she is Asian, Lutz off-handedly comments that he didn't know Danny was adopted. Whoops! Miho stomps off cursing that bean-spiller Lutz in Japanese. It's not so happy over in wardrobe either as Jenna introduces Verna to costumer Lee. Verna promptly hits on Lee, who clearly does not swing that way, before pulling out the matching denim rompers she made for her and Jenna to wear on the show ("Jenna's Mom" and "Jenna's Mom's Daughter"). Jenna clacks off, claiming her "friend has to go strangle her anxiety pillow."

After she leaves, Lemon blindly stumbles out of the changing area (and into a sea of brassiere-clad middle-aged ladies!) with her too-small bridesmaid's dress still half over her head. Guess that gym plan didn't work out so well... Mrs. Rossitano spits that it's bad luck for married women to wear a bridesmaid's dress. Lemon informs the ladies that she's not actually married. They can't believe it. Lutz's mom (Lutz in drag) tries to set Lemon up with her son (who "gives excellent back rubs, I can assure you!"), but Lemon politely declines. Colleen joins the gaggle to tell Lemon that feminism has ruined her. More specifically, "It makes smart girls with nice birthing shapes believe in fairy tales." She tells Lemon to stop waiting for her prince because she's pushing 40 and probably already met an okay-enough guy (even if he's not an astronaut named Mike Dexter who becomes King of Monaco). Upon hearing that Lemon's nearly 40, even Lutz's mom dismisses her not being a green enough banana. Oh, snap.

Upstairs, Jack has a clandestine meeting with Verna. He compliments her for holding up her half of their agreement. She's all, "About that..." and says she'll need the second payment installment sooner than later because she already invested in the first half of her boob job. She opens her jacket to reveal one breast dipping belly button-ward high and one that's nearly brushing her chin. Oh, Verna. She even makes Jack feel them, and he agrees that the implant feels like a cantaloupe, while the untouched breast feels like a bag of mushroom soup. Still, he says no dice on the second payment until she fulfills her motherly obligations to Jenna.

Back downstairs, Pete tells Tracy he's found a perfect stand-in for Tracy's bio-mom. She's an actress named Novella Nelson, she's from Brooklyn, and she looks just like Tracy. Tracy says frantically, "That could be anyone! We all look the same to me!" Pete says Tracy might recognize her from her late-night commercials for overall jammies (Pajameralls, in case you're wondering). Tracy had his heart set on Phylicia Rashad or Serena Williams, but Pete says they're too recognizable. He tells Tracy to pipe down because Novella's been in the biz for 40 years, which makes her "good enough for the star of Sherlock Homie."

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30 Rock

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