Elsewhere, Jack avoids talking to Colleen about Nancy Donovan over lunch. Colleen turns the topic to Avery, who she intuited Jack was sleeping with during a rather un-telling elevator exchange. She tells Jack to man up and pick one of his lady loves already. Oh, if we were all as incisive and cutthroat as you, Colleen! Alas, we're not. Jack goes over the whole spiel again about how each woman offers him something unique. One is a key to his past, one inspires him to the look to the future. Colleen tells him to stop foofing about, to which he hisses, "I know it's gay, but it's my gay problem, and I'm handling it!" The waiter approaches them just in time to fully experience the awkwardness. Colleen mocks Jack some more, saying he'll have one of everything on the menu so he doesn't have to choose.
Jenna's dressing room. Verna asks why her rompers been replaced with sleek suits. Jenna tries to approach the topic delicately, but Verna throws a hissy fit that tips Jenna off to the fact that Verna just wants them to wear the rompers as a national, televised advertisement for her sewing skills. Which are apparently not that impressive because when she tries to rip apart Jenna's "fancy clothes" in protest, she can't and must concede that they are quality craftsmanship. "Damn the tiny brown hands that made this!" she curses before storming out.
Meanwhile, Lemon finds her mother tidying up around the office, catching her just in time to save her computer from going in the trash bin. Lemon asks her mother if she's still single because she expects too much. Mrs. Lemon admits Lemon's standards are a bit high but assures her that the perfect guy is out there. Lemon takes comfort that her mother and father found each other. "Oh no," says Mrs. Lemon, "I'm not talking about your father." Cut to a flashback, complete with '50s music, featuring a young Mrs. Lemon (played by cat glasses-wearing Tina Fey) walking arm-in-arm with her first love Ed. "He was my steady at Montclair High. The night before he was shipped off to Korea, I repeatedly lost my virginity to him while Waldo the town perv watched from the bushes." Younger Lemon takes pause from her blissful walk, "Wait, what?!"
The flashback cuts off, and Mrs. Lemon continues on that Ed wanted to get married but when Ed came back he was offered a position at NASA in Houston. For obvious reasons, Lemon's mind is blow that her mother turned down the chance to be an astronaut's wife. But Mrs. Lemon says she was fresh out of secretarial school and was headed off to take a secretary's position at Sterling Cooper. Moreover, she was 26 years old, a veritable Old Maid! "So I settled for a wonderful man, and I have never regretted it," she says, "not even when I watched Ed Aldrin walk on the moon!" Apparently she always called him Ed because their "town had, like, five Buzzes." Lemon flips out that her mom didn't marry Buzz Aldrin and that Laura Linney didn't play her in the HBO original movie Moon Wives.