30 Rock

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Mama Drama

Outside, Jack finds Verna at the elevator bank. She tells him she's quitting because Jenna doesn't appreciate her enough. Jack reminds her what's at stake (boobs!) and says the decision should be simple: She can leave today walk around with wonkier boobs than Britney Spears, or she can play nice for another day and get her headlights in working order.

Tracy's dressing room. Novella has stopped by for some research QT, but Tracy is snubbing her. He claims she's beneath him and his Guinness World Record for "Most Car Accidents in a Single Year." Moreover, he'd rather be alone on stage than with someone whose resume lists the role of "Black Judge" nine times. She gives just as good as she gets, asking, "And do you think I wanted a fake son who recorded an anti-condom PSA?" Tracy screams that he saved a lot of kids from lame sex. Novella leaves angrily, and Tracy plops down on the couch like a spoiled child.

Meanwhile, Colleen ambushes Avery over in the Hot Box studio. She gives Avery a passive-aggressive piece of advice about emphasizing her ass before explicitly warning her to make her intentions clear to Jack since he might have "other irons in the fire." Attack completed, Colleen continues her reign of terror over Kenneth, who she's taken to calling "Karl" just to screw with him.

Jack finds Lemon in the staff kitchen to ask if she's seen Colleen. She hasn't, but she's still fuming about her mother's teensy weensy confession. She can't believe she had true love and threw it away for inconvenience. Jack reminds her that if her mom had married Buzz Aldrin, she'd never have existed, but Lemon prefers to think that she would have been born as male astronaut Peter Aldrin. Jack offers to introduce Lemon to meet Buzz Aldrin (whom he saw the night before at Rupert Murdoch's Twister party) so she could get a taste of what life would have been like with Buzz as her dad. (Though I say who cares if this ravishing beauty wouldn't have been her mother!)

Back in Tracy's dressing room, Jenna comes to complain about what a disaster the Mother's Day special is turning into, no thanks to Verna. Her trials and tribulations show Tracy that things aren't so bad with Novella. They both acknowledge that nobody's perfect and that parents -- real or fake -- are with you for the long haul. It's quite a delightful heart-to-heart. Luckily Tracy only got a button stuck in one ear and was able to hear the whole thing.

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30 Rock

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