Meanwhile, Lemon is watching Lutz get his jollies off as she is caressed by a stripper with a square-tip French manicure (ugh), and Tracy is weeping and moaning about being at work with the custodians.

The next morning, they rush toward each other, desperate to erase this nonsensical notion of "equality" from their head once and for all. As they agree to return to the status quo, Big and Little Jenna debut their matching sailor suits. In her enthusiasm, Jenna accidentally pops off the head of Little Jenna's baby doll. What follows looks like a clip from When Primates Attack. Lemon and Tracy share a hug and a "Praise the Lord we're not being attack by a gibbon right now!" before leaving Jenna to fend for herself.

Jack's office. Lemon enters to do damage control about the gibbon debacle, but Jack is blissfully ignorant as he watches Some Like It Hot in honor of his parents. Lemon notes that the movie was released in 1959. Recognition suddenly flashes across Jack's eyes as he puts the pieces together that he was conceived in 1958, when his father was still out of the picture. Jack is a Donaghy only in name.

A smiling gibbon in a sailor suit walks into a bar...

Mom-Ebola Dearest
Jack: He treated her like dirt all those years -- coming and going, taking up with other women, including more than one Unitarian. I promised myself I would tell him off. I had my speech all planned. But I always chickened out. It's the biggest regret of my life, Lemon. And I once made love to Kathy Hilton.
Lemon: Do you want a... hug?
Jack: What is this, the Italian Parliament? No. Thank you, Lemon.
Lemon: Well you're a good son. I know she's not easy.
Jonathan: Sir, your mother had me move her from The Plaza to The Carlyle. Evidently the concierge at The Plaza has a beard, and she'd rather not get raped.