Elsewhere, Lemon struggles with another change-over at the water cooler. Tracy arrives fresh off of practice, and Pete rallies the troops for the fake bachelor party. Tracy points out that a "dude boss" would not only join them at the strip club but also pay for the evening's festivities. Lemon happily agrees to come along, then reminds Tracy that he never submitted his comments on the script revisions for this week's script, so he'll have to stay behind. As Tracy swallows that hearty serving of retribution, Lemon beckons the writers to "go see some naked daughters and moms!" Tracy = bitch-slapped by karma.
The Carlyle. Paul greets Jack in his finest lavender sweater vest, unaware that he is about to be zinged '60s-style. He invites Jack in and begins to sing the praises of the hotel channel when Jack launches into his speech. He trips a little over the moment when he realizes that Simon Cowell, unlike Nikita Khrushchev, wasn't actually a Communist. No matter, though, Jackie's on a roll! Colleen arrives for the grand finale and asks for an explanation. Jack drops the bomb that Paul is married, but it's no surprise to Colleen. She sends Paul off and informs Jack that the sexual revolution never really left Florida's elderly population, and the guys who can drive at night are really benefiting. Jack remains appalled that his mother would cope with her grief by entangling herself with a married man. She doesn't understand why she should be coping, so he reminds her of the anniversary. She explains that Jack's father was a deadbeat and a serial abandoner, so there was never one day when she thought he'd left for good. While Jack remembers that day most clearly, she remembers simpler things, like one of the few times Jimmy Donaghy randomly came home after a two-year hiatus starting in the Spring of 1957 to take her to see Some Like It Hot. A bittersweet memory, no doubt, but whatever works, right? Colleen tells Jack to let it go because he is nothing like his father -- and he never could be. He asks what that means, but she glosses over it, promising that she loves him to death. They hug it out, and she leaves Paul to putter around while she and Jack go for a late dinner. At 6 P.M.
Meanwhile, Lemon is watching Lutz get his jollies off as she is caressed by a stripper with a square-tip French manicure (ugh), and Tracy is weeping and moaning about being at work with the custodians.
The next morning, they rush toward each other, desperate to erase this nonsensical notion of "equality" from their head once and for all. As they agree to return to the status quo, Big and Little Jenna debut their matching sailor suits. In her enthusiasm, Jenna accidentally pops off the head of Little Jenna's baby doll. What follows looks like a clip from When Primates Attack. Lemon and Tracy share a hug and a "Praise the Lord we're not being attack by a gibbon right now!" before leaving Jenna to fend for herself.