Jenna admits to putting strawberry juice in everything of Kenneth's, including his water. She's sorry, but wouldn't do it to him for just any guy. She thought the paramedic was "the one." She says it hurts more than her foot botox (what? why?) to know he's out there and she can't find him. Kenneth tells her, when she calls 911, to tell them they have to send everyone. ["EVVVREEEEEEONNEE!" - Gary Oldman in The Professional] He takes a drink of the water and says, "Earn this," as he collapses. Jenna calls him a remarkable sonofabitch, then calls 911.
Liz is in her Slanket, cutting cheese and eating it and singing, "Working on my night cheese!" There's a knock at the door. She sees Jack in the peephole, opens the door and asks if he knows what time it is, since she was sound asleep. He says, "I heard you singing: 'Night Cheese.' " He tells her he's been having a crazy night, and we see a hand stop the door as Liz thinks she's closed it behind Jack. Jack tells Liz he went out clubbing with Tracy, whose life is like Enron 1999. Salma butts in that she's sure it was. Liz asks how she's so quiet when her parades are so loud. Salma yells at Jack for going out and partying with "that black guy!" Liz asks if Salma didn't come here with Jack, and he asks if she's been following him. She keeps raging about him then going to Liz's at 4 a.m.! She knew Jack and Liz's relationship was too weird not to be sexual. She picks up Liz's cheese knife. Jack thinks it's insane that Salma would think he'd cheat with Liz. Liz is all, "Yeah, look at me," and strikes an unflattering pose. Salma sort of gasps. Jack says he went out to prove he wouldn't cheat, and then came to Liz's because she's his bro.
Salma's upset at herself for having a ring on her finger for a day and acting like Glenn Close in Attracion Fatal. Liz says it has a whole different title here (or... the same one in a different language). Salma turns to Liz and says, "Lemon, isn't there a Slanket somewhere you should be filling with your farts?" Liz sulks off, and I would say that's the best line of the episode, but then there is what comes next. She says she loves too deeply and, eventually, "It makes me loco for Choco Puffs." It's sort of the way she says it that's so awesome. I had no idea Salma Hayek was this funny. Jack tells her if she ever finds herself less in love with him, she should call. But if tonight's what they're going to be like, it's not going to work out. She says that wasn't a great breaking-up speech, but he blames that on her English. She gives the ring back, and they hug. Liz sneaks in in her Slanket and takes her cheese board.