Pack Your Knives and Go, Lemon
Lemon: "Sheinhardt-Universal announces production of a Dealbreakers talk show." What the what, Jack?
Jack: Let me explain something to you, Lemon. Dealbreakers is a sketch that first appeared on this network. We own it. And we're doing it whether or not you're involved.
Lemon: Really? So you think you can just replace me?
Jack: Of course not. We can do better. We've already spoken to Padma Lakshmi.
Lemon: Then who's gonna host Top Chef? You are ruining my life!
Jack's Conundrum, Jenna's Pleasure
Tracy: Hey, Jackie D! What's wrong? You're not your usual giggly self.
Jenna: If you've got a problem, you've found the right people.
Jack: Okay, I've got a problem: It needs to be communicated to Lemon that, if she wants to play business, I'm more than happy to play with her. But, as she saw earlier today, Business Jack does not play gentle.
Jenna: Are you as turned on as I am right now? [Tracy nods head furiously.]
Jack: Lemon has a decision to make. She can either be crushed by me...
Jenna [orgasmic]: Ah!
Jack: ...or she can suck in her stomach and crawl back through the tiny crack I've left for her in the proverbial door. Do you think you can pass that along?
Jenna [orgasmic]: Uh-huh...
A Couple of Pills
Jenna: Scotty Showfar... I know that name. What does he look like?
Tracy: I don't know. All white people look the same to me, Pete.
Jenna: Oh my god, Scotty Showfar was my assistant on Trivial Pursuit: The Movie. I was horrible to him. And now he's actually successful? What if I got called in to audition for him, and he recognized me -- even with all the changes to my face... that have happened naturally.
Tracy: That's what Danny said! We have to be nice to everybody. Because the future is like a Japanese game show. You have no idea what's going on.
Kenneth [approaching]: Miss Maroney, your Mexican diet pills came. Should I start taking them to test their side effects?