30 Rock

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B | Grade It Now!
99 Problems, But a Book Ain't One

Jack and Lemon's dinner. Lemon challenges Jack with an Agonizing Pop Culture Dilemma: Superman's powers, but the string attached is a lifetime of monogamy. Objecting to Superman's moral code and the fact that women actually age, Jack rejects. The waiter brings their desserts, and Jack moves aside the candle so she doesn't burn her sleeve. She wonders how that would happen while simultaneously reaching across the table to spear into his molten chocolate cake. He tells her he knows what she'll do before she does. Consequently, he knows that she'll jump at the opportunity to host her own Dealbreakers show. They "cheers" to this new development, and Lemon says, at the same time as Jack, "I knew you would say yes, Lemon." Touché.

30 Rock. Pete teaches Danny the ropes. Rule #1: Deny you know anything, so that no one comes to you with their problems. Rule #2: If they come to you anyway, tell them your kid is sick and run away. Pete asks if Danny has kids. He says no, then starts into some sob story about raising his kid sister when they were young. And wouldn't you know? Pete's kids are suddenly "sick."

Across the room, Lemon tells Tracy and Jenna about the Dealbreakers show. They congratulate her and ask her how many people she's met with to represent her. She says Jack is running the show. They tell her Jack is taking advantage of her relationship and warn her about making bad decisions. Jenna, for example, signed a 10-year exclusive contract with a karaoke video company when she first started. And Tracy agreed to plug Wade Boggs Carpet World five times for every instance he appeared on screen (at which point he says it three more times). Tracy warns her that she's "special like a black stripper with blue eyes" and not to get swindled. Jenna promises to look into an agent and keep Lemon's best interests in mind. Tracy gives her one final piece of advice. You guessed it: Wade Boggs Carpet World. As Lemon walks off confused, Tracy dubs himself and Jenna "The Problem Solvers." Just then, Kenneth approaches, so they ask if he has a problem. He mentions that Danny doesn't want him to do his Page-ly duties and fetch things. Jenna offers to talk to Danny.

Jack's office. Jack excitedly tells Lemon that the guy who came up with the Dawg Pound arm swivel for Arsenio Hall wants to create a signature move for Lemon's show. Jack proposes an arrhythmic dance with sporadic claps and an occasional "Uh uh!" I've seen that dance at an Indigo Girls concert, I think. And the Chinese author translators might tend to agree with me. Lemon breaks it to Jack that she wants to hire and agent and explore all her options now that she's hot shit in the literary world ("Number 14 on the non-fiction best seller chart, right behind The Founding Fathers' Diet"). Jack disingenuously wishes her good luck and gives her a look that tells her not to let the door hit her on the way out.

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30 Rock




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