30 Rock

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99 Problems, But a Book Ain't One

Elsewhere, Lemon meets with the sports show guy, who is a real asshole. Total Hollywood type. He answers his phone and classifies her, out loud, as a "regular 6, drunk 7." Cut to Jack pouring tea for Padma Lakshmi. She says she wants to showcase her talents outside of Top Chef. For example, men are always telling her how funny she is. She starts in on a knock-knock joke, but Jack is in immediate hysterics before she even gets out the pre-punch line. In short, beautiful women couldn't be funny even if they tried. Back at Lemon's meeting, the sports guy makes some blowhard comments, then takes a call from Rahm Emanuel while Lemon spills her heart that she wants a partner, someone she can trust.

Back at Jack's office, Padma says roughly the same thing. Jack promises her full partnership. Padma appreciates this, as she considers herself entrepreneurial. You see, she invented this thing that is exactly like a Zip-loc sandwich bag, but somehow vaguely new and innovative. Not that she could elaborate on how, mind you. Jack sips back champagne nervously. Back at Lemon's meeting, the sports guy insists Lemon is his top priority, that nothing is more important to him than her. Well, maybe save the incoming call he's getting from Brooke Hogan. Lemon reaches for a piece of bread and realizes he hasn't moved the candle like Jack did earlier. She full-on lights her sleeve on fire and waits for him to notice. Instead, he just gives her a tentative look and walks away to his thrilling conversation with Brooke Hogan. Lemon, sleeve still ablaze, shakes her head in frustration.

Back at Jack's office, Padma asks what kind of time commitment she'll be making. Jack says it's only two days a week. Padma lights up at the prospect of less travel and less food stains on her clothes. She says it'll be a great opportunity to focus less on work and more on her unborn child. She smilingly says it will change her life. Jack realizes that it's not Padma's life he wants to change, but Lemon's. He apologizes to Padma, and she gives him her blessing to go. Then she stuffs food in her purse before leaving. Sweet. Side note: Did you know that Padma keeps her wardrobe in two sizes so that she can fit into her clothes as the season progresses? Fact. And it makes me love her all the more.

Jack runs outside, where he sees Lemon from a distance. They run toward each other in what should be a lover's embrace. As the camera swirls around them rhapsodically, Jack tells Lemon that it's her. It's always been her. She's the one that he wants to do business with. She moons at him. They shake hands as violins swells in the background.

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30 Rock

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