We have three plots to deal with tonight. Three! It's like freakin' Moliere in here!
In Story A, Jenna's crazy, mooching mother Verna shows up. And she's played by Jan Hooks! Jenna and Liz assume she's just coming to mooch more money, and Jack even has a slideshow to explain his patented mother-avoidance system. But she appears to have turned over a new leaf, returning all the money she's mooched from Jenna and even staging a surprise birthday party at which she and Jenna sing a duet. And Jenna apparently always carries a wireless microphone in her purse, which I guess is a good idea if you're Jenna.
But it turns out that Verna just wants a reality show with Jenna, and she's been manipulating her. Jack buys Verna off with $3,000 for four visits a year. Heartwarming! Wait, no. That's not the word. I'll come up with it, though.
In Story B, Frank and Liz become roommates and immediately become embroiled in a challenge: Frank will quit cigarettes if Liz will quit snack foods. This promptly degenerates into the writers' room watching Liz order a pizza in her sleep, then watching Frank make out on Liz's couch with the lady from the mail room. Nobody wins!
Well, that's about it ... oh! Wait! There's also Story C, which is that Pete likes to sit by himself, but Kenneth wants to come up to him and tell him boring things. Pete gets annoyed but never does anything about it, which means there are a couple scenes of Kenneth being funny. And I think Pete joins a Hobo Fight Club.
Hello! I am not Lady Lola. I am, instead, your fill-in for the evening, Montykins. By that I mean that I am "Montykins", not that I am addressing you under the mistaken impression that you are Montykins. Although I guess it works both ways if you are also Montykins. The odds of that seem pretty low, though, so perhaps we should just get to it.
We open up on an obvious dream sequence, in which Liz is giving birth while being coached by Jack. As though his enthusiasm and friendliness weren't enough of a tip-off, Tracy is the doctor, Kenneth is the female nurse, and the baby is Meat Cat, the mascot for "Cheesy Blasters". His catchphrase is "Razz-ma-tazz"! Liz wakes up and vows to eat better. Plot point!
Meanwhile, Pete is sipping coffee from a crude yellow mug in the writer's room. Kenneth walks up cheerfully (note to self: Kenneth does everything cheerfully, so it's probably not necessary to say so) and learns that Pete desperately wants a moment of peace and quiet between work and home. Kenneth appears to understand about "Pete Time", but immediately plunges into "a funny story about my friend's cat. His name is Mr. Wiggles. And his cat's name is Benson!" I hope we meet Mr. Wiggles at some point. Jenna rushes in frantically (note to self: see above note, with "Jenna" and "frantically" inserted in the right spots) and Kenneth regrets the end of "Pete and Kenneth Time". Me too!
Jenna bursts into Liz's office to report the plot. Jenna's mother Verna, who is someone who uses an Oxycontin prescription bottle as ID, is here to see her. Jenna told security to throw her out, "but I'm sure she's down there. Sitting on a curb. Chain-smoking. And waiting for me to come out. Just like the day I was born!" Liz thinks Jenna should have a relationship with her mother, but Jenna is convinced that her mother only sees her as a "gorgeous, naturally-blonde ATM". Liz launches into a song about not going to sleep with a frown. It's so obnoxious that Jenna flees the room and is quickly replaced by Kenneth, who sings along.
I've written lyrics to the 30 Rock theme song. Unfortunately, they're just "doo doo doo doo doo doo doot!" so I don't know why I bothered mentioning them.
At the snack table, Liz overhears Frank tell Lutz about the firemen that were at his house. Apparently, Frank's Sith Lord cloak caught fire from being too close to his mother's Jesus candles. Lutz wants to know if any of the firemen were the ones from the calendar. Anyway, Frank needs a place to crash. Tracy says, "I'm sorry. Would you like to stay at my guest house?" Yes, Frank would like very much to stay at Tracy's guest house. "Oh, I'm not offering. I'm just taking a survey to gauge general interest!" But Liz still has that double-sized apartment from that time she thought she was getting a talk show (Taste the continuity!). She reluctantly allows Frank to stay with her, but insists that "It's stuff like this that makes me eat things like this!" The second "this" refers to a chocolate donut.