Before we discover what said deal will be, Kenneth answers his phone at his squatting apartment. It's Angie, who's out of her mind on drugs and screaming for Tracy. Kenneth looks to his life-size cutout of Tracy and hatches a plan.

Somewhere near Mt. Sinai, Tracy answers correctly that Thomas Jefferson invented the Lazy Susan. He claims to know because he is a descendant of both Thomas Jefferson and Lazy Susan herself. Similarly, he knows that the capital of the United Arab Emirates is Abu Dhabi, because he will be executed if he ever returns. He also knows the 12 tones of the musical scale and demonstrates them as proof of his musical genius.

30 Rock. Jack has summoned Lutz to demonstrate for his son how to throw a punch. Then he reads The Giving Tree as proof of Shel Silverstein's Communist tendencies. Jack returns to Lutz to demonstrate how to make love to a woman. Lutz: "Huh?!"

At the hospital, Kenneth has cut out Cardboard Tracy's head and wrapped it around his face to trick Angie until the real Tracy arrives. Dr. Spaceman's watch alarm suddenly beeps, and he remembers he must feed the meter. As you do.

TGS. Lemon finds Richie to have a pre-scripted break-up conversation in front of Donna. She talks up his fully loaded Toyota Tercel, at-home pinball machine, two-time adventures to Canada, and love of unicorns. Richie smoothly bids farewell to Lemon, and she leaves, saying, "I guess some other woman will get to enjoy that waterbed that you're saving up for." Donna's all, "You had me at unicorns!"

Uptown, Tracy has won the prize money and arrived at Mt. Sinai. He gleefully tries to exit the cab, and there is some confusion as to when he should pull the door, and when the host should hit the unlock button. Don't you just hate when that happens? Inside, he finally arrives and pushes Kenneth out of the way to tell Angie that he'll always be by her side, "no matter what Discovery Channel game shows get in [his] way," adding that he doesn't know what he "would do without you." With that, he looks back at Kenneth, who is crawling out of the room clandestinely. Job well done.

Jack wraps up his tape, telling his son that, if he ever encounters a situation not covered in the tapes, he should "find Elizabeth Lemon, ask her advice, and then do the opposite." After he shuts off the camera, Kenneth knocks on his door as resolute as ever to rejoin the fold at NBC. Jack offers to speak with HR, but Kenneth proudly announces that he's going to reapply to the Page program and follow all protocol. Jack insists he doesn't care. Kenneth giddily calls from behind, "Your ability to hide your true feelings is part of your great strength!"