Go South, Young Lemon, Go South
Pete: Liz, I have an idea -- something to boost staff morale.
Lemon: Pete, no. I listened t o you when you wanted to take the staff to that R-rated hypnotist, and that sucked.
Pete: It was pretty bad. Nutmeg!
Lemon stands up like a zombie and starts to pull up her shirt.
Pete: Aaaah, rodeo rodeo rodeo! [Lemon stops stripping and looks around in confusion.] Look, I think we can take the show to Miami for a week.
Lemon: What? Can we afford to do that?
Pete: If we do it on the cheap, double-up rooms. Think about it, Liz. Florida! I can rent a convertible. You can complain about the heat with elderly people!
Lemon: I can sell this to Jack. [Cut to Jack's office. Pete holds a sign that reads "MIAMI = SYNERGY."] Cross-promotional... deal mechanics... revenue streams... jargon... synergy!
Jack: That's the best presentation I've ever seen. Get started right away! One little thing -- instead of Miami, make it Boston.
Pete: But, uh... I bought a parrot shirt.
The Hahd Sell
Lemon: Exciting news, guys. This week, TGS is going on the roooooooad!
Danny: There's a rumor that it's Miami. Is it Miami?
Lemon: Close. It is a city with an NBA team. And even though Will Smith never wrote a rap about it, the poet Robert Lowell lived there!
Look It Up, Vondrukes
Jenna: Hey, Cerie. I thought you and I could be roommates: Go out, meet guys, share clothes like twinsies! What size are you?
Cerie: Usually designers just make clothes for me. But when I do buy stuff, I'm a Child's Medium.
Jenna: Well I only wear designer labels. [Turns around to show off her jeans.] These are Jamie Foxx for Ass Farm.
Cerie: But I can't room with you. Sue and I already talked about it.
Jenna: Why? You know Sue says stuff behind your back.
Cerie: She always says stuff to me about you.
Jenna: Wait, what? I was making my thing up. [Turns around to see Sue.] You bitch!
Sue: What did you tell her, you vondruke!
This Week's Blink-And-You-Missed-It: A Joke Not About NBC
Jack: So, how's the show looking for Friday?
Lemon: Like it may not happen, actually.
Jack: Well that will really disappoint your key demographic of drunken 11-year-olds.
Lemon: Look, I know for you this is all just a way to meet married ladies, but it is my job.
Jack: Let me give you some advice on uniting a divided people. Find a common enemy.
Lemon: A common enemy?
Jack: For example, what keeps people polite on airplanes? A shared hatred of the CBS sitcoms they're forced to watch.