Kenneth Does Bitchy. Me Likes.
Pete: Okay, that's lunch. We're back in at three.
Lemon: No, 3:30. Enjoy the town, everyone! You're welcome. Now who would like to join me on a morale-boosting tour of Boston's historic Freedom Trail?
Kenneth: Oooooh, I would...n't!
"A Treatise Both For & Against Revisionist History" by Tracy Jordan
Tracy: Now what am I supposed to do? I got free time in a strange city.
Lemon: Why don't you come on the Freedom Trail with me? It's an educational walking tour.
Tracy: Purrrrr-fect, like a cat birthday! How could I possibly get in trouble on a walking tour?
Pete: Smash cut to... [Lemon and Tracy on the tour.]
John Hancock: And I, John Hancock, with one stroke of my pen, set all Americans free!
Tracy: You lyin' white devil! The only people you set free were rich, white dudes like yourself!
John Hancock: I think my good friend -- and supervisor -- Paul Revere can address that.
Paul Revere: I'm out, Kenny.
Lemon: Okay, I think we're gonna go--
Tracy: No! Most dudes that signed that Declaration of Independence owned slaves. What about you, John Hancock?
John Hancock: Well, technically I just inherited my slaves.
Tracy: I knew it! For a dude that has the most hilarious last name I ever heard, you blow! We didn't land on Plymouth Rock, Plymouth Rock landed on Mars!
Lesbian Yellow Sour Fruit Strikes Again
Lemon: You wanted to see the world's greatest manager?
Jack: Is Kiyoshi Kawashima of Honda here?
Lemon: No, it's me. I'm a genius. I made up a fake NBC executive and blamed everything that has ever gone wrong on him.
Jack: The imaginary enemy-- classic move, Lemon. The Salem Witch Trials, the Red Scare, Global Warming...