Give me liberty or give me jokes!
The Power Forward or the Kid from Glee? Both?
Jack [iPhone buzzes]: It's from Nancy. She said she's in line behind the Female Larry Byrd. Oh God, there's a photo!
Lemon: Come on! How is Female Larry Byrd holding hands with a guy? What am I doing wrong?
Jack takes picture of Lemon
Lemon: What is that for?
Jack: I'm telling Nancy that I'm with Female Kevin McHale.
Boston: Squirrel Icicle Impalement Capital of the World
Nancy: Well, I should go. I gotta scrape the icicles off the guttahs. I'm tired ah wakin' up to a pahch fulla dead squirrels.
Jack: God, I miss Boston!
Go South, Young Lemon, Go South
Pete: Liz, I have an idea -- something to boost staff morale.
Lemon: Pete, no. I listened t o you when you wanted to take the staff to that R-rated hypnotist, and that sucked.
Pete: It was pretty bad. Nutmeg!
Lemon stands up like a zombie and starts to pull up her shirt.
Pete: Aaaah, rodeo rodeo rodeo! [Lemon stops stripping and looks around in confusion.] Look, I think we can take the show to Miami for a week.
Lemon: What? Can we afford to do that?
Pete: If we do it on the cheap, double-up rooms. Think about it, Liz. Florida! I can rent a convertible. You can complain about the heat with elderly people!
Lemon: I can sell this to Jack. [Cut to Jack's office. Pete holds a sign that reads "MIAMI = SYNERGY."] Cross-promotional... deal mechanics... revenue streams... jargon... synergy!
Jack: That's the best presentation I've ever seen. Get started right away! One little thing -- instead of Miami, make it Boston.
Pete: But, uh... I bought a parrot shirt.
The Hahd Sell
Lemon: Exciting news, guys. This week, TGS is going on the roooooooad!
Danny: There's a rumor that it's Miami. Is it Miami?
Lemon: Close. It is a city with an NBA team. And even though Will Smith never wrote a rap about it, the poet Robert Lowell lived there!
Look It Up, Vondrukes
Jenna: Hey, Cerie. I thought you and I could be roommates: Go out, meet guys, share clothes like twinsies! What size are you?
Cerie: Usually designers just make clothes for me. But when I do buy stuff, I'm a Child's Medium.