Kenneth asks Lemon how the baring of gifts went. She's contacted the Better Business Bureau about shutting down the Letters to Santa program. "What is wrong with you?" Kenneth wants to know. "You are being a real Scrooge." Lemon explains how it was all scam. There were no kids. There were no hugs. Tracy jumps on the sentence immediately. "Well if all you want is a hug from a Black person maybe you should just host the Price is Right." Did I mention that Tina Fey co-wrote this episode? It's quite noticeable how adroit she is when it comes to writing about race in her comedy. Usually they are the funniest moments on the show. The only other white comic figures that I can think of who do as well with that type of material are Larry David and Louis C.K., and that is one hell of a trifecta. Back to action: Kenneth tells Lemon she's wrong. She hasn't been scammed or even scrumped. "This is a religious holiday. When has religion ever caused any trouble?" Lemon calls him naive to which Kenneth say's she is acting like a real "c-word. That's right, cranky Sue." Lemon wants to prove him wrong. "It's dinner time. Tracy, Kenneth we're going uptown."
Colleen gets wheeled into the hallway and in front of Jack. This woman is tougher than Charles Oakley. That's two hip replacement surgeries and she's already out and about in the world. Jack apologizes quickly for not spending more time with her because of work. "What kind of time, Jackie? Eight minutes maybe? John Francis Donaghy how could you? Waiting eight minutes to call 911. I can't believe it." Jack denies it and tries to walk away but Colleen has proof. Exhibit A is Jack's cell phone bill. He made a call to 911 at 8:16 am but, if you will all refer to Exhibit B, Colleen's Chopard watch that stopped ticking because of the accident is set at 8:08. Exhibit C is a flash card exercise. I remember those from my days being tutored by 10th grade Sally. Sixteen minus eight is eight. That is correct. Now take off your shirt. I had a very sexy childhood. Jack's mom had a very sexy Jack's childhood and he reminds her of all her past sins against him, including inviting strange men over on Christmas eve. "I am 50 years old. You have ruined every Christmas I've ever had and I'm not letting you take down this one too!" He walks away from her.