Alec, Try to Say "And One by the Toilet" Like You're Playing Poker with James Bond.
Colleen: "I need my other bell."
Jack: "We agreed one by the bed [pause] and one by the toilet."

The Chinese?
Hornberger: "Holy Buddha who likes Christmas?"

P.O.T.U.S. is Priority One. Repeat. Priority One.
Tracy: "I will not let you go into that neighborhood alone. In the spirit of Christmas and Kwanzo..."
Lemon: "Kwanza."
Tracy: "And Shalam-shazam to you too my sista. We'll go with you uptown and remember, DotCom, you are there to protect me and not Liz Lemon.

Lutz's First Line of the Season.
Jack: "Brainstorming session. Go."
Lutz: [Crying] "I don't wanna do this."

A Backstreet Boys Joke in Five Years.
Jenna: "Mr. Donaghy, as leader of this group I have to put my foot down. Christmas is a sacred time for me and my surrogate family. So if you're willing to look four 25-year old gay guys in the eyes and tell them that we're not going to see New Kids on the Block at the Borgata, be my guest."

Grizz Gets Touchy.
Lemon: "Thank you so much for carrying that. I will buy you guys dinner later."
Grizz: "Liz, we both have girlfriends."

Sarcastic Inner-Voice.
Lemon: "Tracy, I'm going to need you to take a picture. Just the push the little button on top."
Tracy: [Sarcastic] "Thanks a lot. I never operated a camera before."
[Not at all sarcastic]
"I'm serious. That was very helpful."

Like the Music of ABBA.
Jack: "Every year the dreadful moment would arrive when I would catch Mr. Schwarz caressing my mother's bony thigh. And I'd say 'eyes on the keys, Jackie boy. Keep your eyes on the keys.' And they would ask me to play 'White Christmas' and it would turn into some boozy, burlesque travesty. Every time I hear that song I get aroused."

Or to the Hand.
Lemon: "I would like to talk to whoever screens the letters to Santa."
Irene: "Then you'd better talk to that box."