Portland Has a Dam System?
"The city of Portland has requested $9 million dollars to shore up its dam system.
Bureaucrat: "I can't support that. Dam is a swear word. I'd support it if instead of dam we called it a God finger.
It Takes Two
Jenna: "Kenneth where have you been? I had to put on my jeans by myself."
Upon Finding the Positive Pregnancy Test
Jenna "Oh no. Someone's going to get more attention than me."
Three the Very Hard Way
Lemon: Oh, so you're the only one who's allowed to make sex mistakes? You had a three-way with Roseanne and Tom Arnold."
Jenna: "That was two years ago!"
The What Do You Think I Am Game ...
"My name is James Riley. Cooter Burger? What do you think I am
a) "... the last page of a junior high textbook?"
b) "... a cartoon dog?"
c) "... a pornography video game?"
d) "... the starting point for an episode of American Dad?"
Breaking and Entry and Disregard
Lemon: "Dennis, what are you doing here?"
Dennis: "I don't have to explain myself to you."
One Pill Means You're Fatter
Duffy: "Prenatal vitamins. I know what prenatal means. 'Pre': before. 'Natal': ruined."
Kenneth Cleans Tracy's Fur Coat
"You must have been such a pretty monkey."
(spoken in Chinese) "I will not fail you, Rainbow Chicken."
So Unbelievably Correct
Jack: "A guaranteed disaster. Like eating a burrito before sex."
Silent Comedy Award
Kenneth making like a pole vault high jumper but then using it to press a button on the elevator.
Sabor de Soledad
Lemon: "I guess in Mexico women use it to stop their periods before Cinco de Mayo."
Lemon: "I guess I'm getting to that age where I don't care what anybody thinks of me."
Jack: "You're going to want to get a very short haircut. Resist that urge."
No-prize Award Goes to ...
Jane Krakowski wins in a rout. In an episode where she was only tangentially part of the plotline she steals the show with one-liners, funny orgasms, backdoor compliments, selfishness, vanity, and a song. Nice to have Jenna back.