Down the hall, Lemon grumbles to Pete that she's supposed to cut a quarter of her annual budget. Pete suggests she fire their announcer with the speech impediment -- he was never quite the same after that lightning strike, you know. But Lemon feels bad about cutting off his health benefits and vetoes that idea. Next idea: Food budget! Vetoed vis-à-vis a desperate yelp from Lutz. Next, Pete turns to the $1,200 per year straw budget. Lemon thinks that's an easy cut and announces that everyone will have to drink straight from the can from now on. Then she looks back to find a rat scampering (and presumably defecating) all over the mouth of the soda cans. So straws are back! Budgetary Brad interrupts to tell Lemon he needs her revised budget by the end of the day. She hems and haws, so he warns that he'll make the cuts for her if necessary.
Donaghy's office. Jack is in the middle of firing the head of the outdated Boom Box Division when Kenneth rushes in to tell him about an amazing, one-time-only offer from the cable company. Free Showtime for three months! Jack brushes him off, annoyed that Kenneth hasn't yet grasped what is urgent and what is telemarketing. Jack hands the Boom Box VP a box of tissues.
Chez Kenneth. Tracy walks in to discover a towel muffler positioned in front of Kenneth's forbidden bedroom door. He starts to feed the bird but can't resist walking over to take a quick peek. Sonny Crockett starts squawking, "Don't go in the bedroom! Don't go in the bedroom!" Tracy runs out, spooked.
Back at Donaghy's House of Doom, Lemon arrives. Kenneth does a quick theatrical change-up (i.e. wipes his hand down over his face) to switch from "Kenneth the Page" to "Kenneth the Assistant." He is hesitant to let Lemon in, but she says it's about the show's budget. He opens up Jack's office to expose a weeping executive and a very flustered Jack. He switches back to "Kenneth the Page" to admit to Lemon that this job shuffling is harder than it looks. Switch back to "Kenneth the Assistant," who calmly, courteously asks Lemon to take a seat.
Lemon sits down across from a woman powdering her nose and speculating about the firings. She unrolls her plan to seduce Jack into keeping her and her staff. Lemon is aghast, especially when the VP of Seduction asks Lemon to join her in the firing room for a little tag-team action. Jack's latest victim comes out in tears, and Kenneth tells Lemon Jack is ready for her.