The Ooey-Gooey Center of Lemon's Budget Presentation
Lemon: Now I could stand here, Brad, and bore you with numbers. I could tell you that we're the #1 late-night show among men 9-13... and the morbidly obese. I could tell you that we're in final negotiations to create exclusive content for America's jails.

Consider It a Jurassic Perk!
Kenneth: With both these jobs, I don't know when I'm gonna be able to get home. I'm worried about my bird, Sonny Crockett. Would you mind going to my apartment and feeding him?
Tracy: Yeah, okay. Birds are like little dinosaurs, so what I'll be doing is actually pretty cool and brave.

Well That Gives "I Have 200 People Under Me" New Meaning
Sheryl: Do you know Jack Donaghy well?
Lemon: Pretty well.
Sheryl: Do you happen to know if he's a boob man or a butt man?
Lemon: What? Why would you ask that?
Sheryl: Because I don't want to get fired. So I'm going to have to go in there and boink my way out of this one. I'm Sheryl, by the way.
Lemon: You're going to try to have sex with Jack?
Sheryl: I have 15 employees. I'm responsible for them. Do you have any idea what that's like?
Lemon: Well, yeah. I have 200 people under me, but...
Sheryl: Wow! Maybe we could team up, go in there together, lez out, give him a show...
Lemon: No, Sheryl. Get a grip!

CSI: TGS
Tracy: Jenna, something weird is going on.
Jenna: You mean this budget cut? Don't worry about it, Tracy. It's just going to affect the 'non-specials.'
Tracy: No, it's not that. Jenna, you're the smartest person I know. Do you think Kenneth could be a murderer?
Jenna: What? Why would you think that?
Tracy: Well, I might be crazy... but neither he nor his bird would let me into his bedroom. And why wouldn't you want to let Tracy Jordan into your bedroom unless you got a buncha dead nurses in there?
Jenna: Well I had to study serial killers to prepare for my role as criminal profiler Jill St. Ferrari in the Lifetime original miniseries Hushed Rapings, and all mass murderers share three characteristics: Cruelty to animals...
Tracy: He grew up killin' pigs!
Jenna: ...Bed wetting...
Tracy: No wonder he's fascinated when I do that!
Jenna: ...And an inability to read human facial cues.
Tracy: I admonished him for that earlier! Three for three! He's a monstah!
Jenna: We've gotta go tell Jack! If Kenneth is actually a killer, we're gonna be heroes!