30 Rock

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B+ | 1391 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Prenuptial Disagreements

Bonus! More of Tracy's delightful childhood yarns. See below...

Crimson-nuendo
Avery: Look, I know I'm supposed to go with you to Cerie's wedding this weekend, but I can't make it.
Jack: Okay, I know you and I are in a period of détente right now because of my other--
Avery: Piece of tail.
Jack: I was going to say "romantic entanglements," but you do not want to miss this wedding. It's going to be New York royalty -- the Astors, the Rockefellers, the Sbarros.
Avery: Yes, I know Jack. You think I don't want to know what Pizzerina Sbarro's gonna be wearing?
Jack: Then come.
Avery: We both know that is a bad idea, which is why I scheduled a conflict this weekend I can't get out of.
Jack: What is it?
Avery: Well, if you must know, I'm on Dodecacil -- the pill where you only get your period once a year.
Jack: We're so close to beating that thing completely!

Atta Girl, Lemon
Cerie: Hey Liz, I need to know the name of the date you're bringing to my wedding.
Lemon: I'm coming alone, Cerie, but I would still like two meals.

Go with the Waterfall
Lemon: Gah, three weddings in one day. I'm going to be in Spanx for 12 hours. My elastic line is gonna get infected again!
Jenna: Are you really not bringing someone to Cerie's wedding?
Lemon: I don't care about having a date.
Jenna: What about Floyd's wedding?
Lemon: If I have to sit through that alone, I will rent a car, set it on fire, and drive it off a waterfall.
Jenna: I can set you up with my trainer. He's gay -- but not when he's drunk.

I Would Have Suggested a Playful Barolo
Drew: I was just doing some baking. Can I get you something to drink?
Lemon [puts on her sexy voice]: What goes good with second chances? [Realizes it's not working] Oh, water! I'd like water.

Captain Hooks
Lemon: You know what, this was a bad idea. I should just go.
Drew: What? You're too good for me now that I have pirate hook hands?
Lemon: It is absolutely not because you are disabled. I've been dumped by four different guys in wheelchairs.
Drew: Well I'll have you know, Liz, that I am in line for a hand transplant. There's this, uh, strangler who's about to be executed, and [clasps his hooks together] I've got my hooks crossed. [Looks down and realizes he can't pull apart his hooks.]

30 Rock

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