But what about the jokes? Well, on a show dripping with manic comic talent, I was surprised to have noticed so many good Schwimmer moments. A few:
You're watching Haaad Ball
"Hillary Clinton wants an all-homosexual army. How will that affect my family?"
Aggressive-aggressive mother issues and their relation to the very, very conscious
Greenzo: "I just wish my mom were still alive...so I could rub it in her fat face."
A Friends reunion?
Greenzo: "Well kids, you can tell your parents to buy a GE front loading washing machine to save water, because if the earth's not here, where else is Greenzo going to dance?" (Cue the music)
Only to be said while wearing a cape or a duster
Greenzo: "Greenzo out!"
Native-American Beached Whale Hollywood Black List Vindication Cocaine Panty Flash Amuse Brioche
Greenzo: "Are you saying actors can't change the world? I guess nobody bothered to tell Sharon Stone."
And that was just the guest star. As for the regulars:
An honest to God Better Than Ezra party?
Kenneth: "Hope you're ready to party like its 1999, which according to my bible will be in 7 years."
Art Vandelay's lawyer
Tracy: "People are like Lemmings...Harvey Lemmings, my lawyer. He never misses a party."
Lemon: "That's not a real person. You made that up."
There are lies in the pamphlets on churned butter tourism
Lemon: "People are going to show up expecting all this great stuff and they're going to be disappointed and angry."
Tracy: "Just like Colonial Williamsburg."
American Idol minus the clunky America part
Jack: "Look how Greenzo's testing. They love him in every demographic: colored people, broads, fairies, commies...gosh we've got to update these forms."
Tyra wears a fat suit in public
Cerie: "Did he just talk to me like I'm ugly?"
Maybe illegal but not unthought of
Frank: "The girl from Heroes is going to take a shower."
Kenneth wears the shame of a thousand (Meadowlarke) Lemons
Kenneth: "Harlem Globetrotter...does that name mean nothing to you?"