30 Rock

Episode Report Card
Sobell: B | 1285 USERS: C+
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Jack Gets In The Game

It's the condensed, atheist version of Breaking the Waves
Tracy: Hey, Kenneth!
Kenneth: You're up early, Mr. Jordan.
Tracy: I only got eleven or twelve hours of sleep last night. I've got something on my mind grapes I need to talk to you about.
Kenneth: Oh? What is it, sir?
Tracy: I saw you hitting on Angie the other day. Seeing you with her, it opened my eyes.
Kenneth: Good for you, sir.
Tracy: Yeah, all those years fooling around? Wasn't fair to her. So you gotta make it fair! I want you to go to my house and make love to my wife, Ken!
Kenneth: [voice rising two octaves] Jiminy Christmas!
Tracy: My home address is on the GPS under "dacrib" because we live on Dacrib Avenue. Now you go to Angie. And you make sure you pleasure her!

I found the Dove Bar commercials to be more meaningful.
Liz: You just can't be a real woman in this country. It is like those Dove commercials never even happened.

This never happened when The Rock wrestled with Triple-H
Jack: Winthrop here wrestled at Yale.
Devin: With other dudes, or...?
Jack: [to Winthrop] He says he can pin you.
Winthrop immediately begins grappling with Devin.
Devin: Oh, you're so strong. Oh God, you're having your way with me! Your back is like a barrel of snakes! Oh, God, I'm just your doll. I think I love you -- we're joking!

The powerful bread lobby couldn't suppress that study
Dr. Spaceman: Did you know, scientifically speaking, that humans want food -- but don't need it?

Tonight, we dine in...Chelsea!
Winthrop: [tackles Devin from behind] Quitter!
Devin: Ah, God. Just like the Greeks.

So does Tracy think "the Page" is Kenneth's hyphenated last name?
Tracy: I'm going to kill you, Kenneth The Page!
[Tracy skids to a halt in his living room. Angie is on the couch, reading. Kenneth is sitting at a breakfast bar, eating a sandwich, napkin on his lap, while Grizz watches.]
Kenneth: I'm sorry, Mr. Jordan. I just couldn't do it.
Angie: This boy comes in the door, tries to kiss me, then he throws up and starts crying.
Kenneth: My body wouldn't let me violate the sacred bonds of marriage, sir.

30 Rock

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