Jack realizes he can't keep up with double-dating, so he sets about a rigorous set of tests to determine which woman is right for him. When he consults his HEART -- a points-based system based on "Hard Equations And Rational Thinking" -- the ladies come up even. So he tosses a dart at a board with their pictures. It lands smack in the middle. Foiled! His selection process is disrupted by Khonani, an aptly named custodian who signed a contract five years ago to take over the 11:30 p.m. janitorial shift at NBC. Jack honors the contract and moves Subhas, the original 11:30 janitor, to 10 p.m. From the resultant strife is born Team Khokho. Viva Khokho!
Meanwhile, Angie tells Tracy to step up his husband game during her pregnancy. After Tracy unsuccessfully sends Kenneth to perform his husbandly duties for him, Tracy gives it the old college try only to somehow end up in a strip club with a sandwich meant for Angie. He takes drastic measures, locking himself into the electric dog collar usually worn by his horse-impregnating Rottweiler, and sending Kenneth to take care of something at Lemon's apartment. But more on that...
... now! After Lemon spots her coworkers socializing beyond 30 Rock, Lemon discovers they've excluded her for years. So she does the sensible thing and hijacks Cerie's bridal shower to prove that, TGS staffers be damned, she's fun! She makes it about five seconds and one Jenna rendition of "Jimmy Crack Corn" into the party before flipping her shit. Her tantrum is interrupted when Kenneth runs in with Tracy's rabid pooch in his wake. The group finally decides to include Lemon -- and by "include" I mean make her their sacrificial lamb. Lemon puts on every mauling-resistant piece of clothing she owns and takes one for the team. It's a win-win for everyone, really.
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30 Rock. Lemon approaches Tracy in the hallway and tells him she saw the other TGS staffers out without them the night before. Flash to Lemon spotting a restaurant window sign that reads "The Buffalo Chicken Shake is Back!" When she looks in the window, she sees everyone else from the show high-fiving each other, Top Gun-style. She wonders to herself, "Nerds?" Then cries to the heavens, "Nerds!" Back at 30 Rock, Tracy says he's known about the staff outings (a.k.a. Thursday Night Thunder) for years. Lemon Stephanie Tanners a "How rude!" Tracy says he couldn't go last night because he had to take Angie to the ER on account of pregnancy complications... "so that trumps your little problem." Lemon agrees and asks how Angie is. Tracy says she and the baby are fine. Lemon offers to do anything she can. And what do you know? Tracy has something in mind: "Could you take care of Angie like a husband until this whole ass-ache blows over?" When she declines, Tracy asks Kenneth if he can assume the husbandly duties. Before you can say "overextended lackey," Kenneth literally runs out the door to do Tracy's bidding. Credits.
Upstairs, Lemon finds Jack still stuck in his dilemma: Avery or Nancy. The night before he nearly called Avery "Nancy" and had to cover it up by saying he has a "Nana fetish." According to Jack, "Avery actually tried to get on board. Later that night, she put some mothballs behind her ears and fed me peppermints." Jack vows to make a decision between his two ladies that day, even though it'll be the hardest decision he's ever made. Lemon goes all Nicholas Sparks on him, saying in a melodramatic affectation that maybe he was missing the love that was standing in front of him all along as she rubs his face delicately with the back of her hand. He recoils in horror as she laughs at her own joke.
He asks her why she's up in his office, anyway. She tells him about being excluded from her co-workers' nights out. He tells her that's to be expected, since she's the boss, adding, "Bosses need to keep their distance from their subordinates." On cue, Kenneth pops his head in to give Jack a minute-by-minute of where he's going for the next couple hours and promises to call him to assure him he's safe. His own advice basically invalidated, Jack still screams out that he doesn't care, but Kenneth's already chirped, "I love you!" and scampered off. Lemon chagrins that she thought her co-workers were like family until she saw them last night. Jack invites her to come up and have a drink with him from time to time. She snarks, "Great, that sounds really fun," and impishly mimes pouring herself a drink from Jack's absent bar (see below).