Jack's office. He blackmails Mary J. Blige, Elvis Costello and Clay Aiken into helping him with the kidney ditty. In short, Jack got Mary out of a 20-year exclusive contract at Sea World (guess it got foisted onto Jessica Simpson, then?), Aiken is Kenneth's cousin (of course!) and Elvis (a.k.a. Declan McManus) is an international art thief. I have a feeling this is just the tip of the Green-berg.

Downstairs, Lemon feels empowered as she accepts all her appearance requests, including that much-watched seventh hour of the Today Show. She heads into her office, where she finds Pete and Tracy's wives. She is loath to answer their questions since she knows them and could potentially have to face the consequences, but they insist. See below for more catch phrase-tastic Lemon logic.

Frank Lucas High School. Tracy gives him inspirational graduation speech, and it is just as wackadoo, off-the-cuff, and counter-productive as you might imagine. Nonetheless, the principal gives him an honorary degree for coming back to speak. He clutches the diploma, bursts into bitch tears, and collapses on the stage -- thus reliving the exact shameful behavior that sent him running in the first place.

Back at 30 Rock, Jack wangles some more celebrities who owe him favors: Sheryl Crow and Adam Levine of Maroon 5. May I just say, God bless Sheryl for sitting on the same couch as his diseased crotch? Sheryl reminisces about playing a kidney in her fifth-grade play with some loser (yeah, that'd be Lemon). Jenna interrupts to ask Jack if she can be a part of the musical benefit. He lies that it didn't work out and introduces her to his "European friends." Jenna eyes them suspiciously.

Elsewhere, Lemon starts heading out to meet with a book agent for a Deal Breaker tome. She runs into Pete and Tracy, who ream her out for talking to their wives. She blows them off, repeating Jack's words about how TGS can't last forever. Tracy frantically turns to Pete: "Pete! How am I gonna live? I only have $300 million!"