Jack sits in confession but doesn't confess until he goads himself into having an intellectual argument about capitalism vs. religion with the benign priest. Jack lists off his sins like they're worth a nickel at a penny factory. (Right? I just made that up.) The priest asks to know the real reason behind Jack's visit to the church, and Jack explains it to him as only a man in love with an incredibly curvy Hispanic woman can. It only takes two sentences before he's describing in great detail the feel and shape of her breasts. The priest starts sweating like Richard Chamberlain. He runs out of the confessional, away from the temptation. Jack exits the confessional only to be confronted by a very stern-looking (and bosomy) Elisa. Have we mentioned her tits yet?
There is, of course, a third date on this Valentine's Day, between Kenneth, the blind girl Jennifer, and parrot-sounding Tracy. Kenneth escorts her down a hallway at 30 Rock. "That limo ride was weird," she says. "It felt like we just circled the block 50 times." Tracy tells her it's the only way to get to New York's fanciest restaurant. When they arrive at the soundstage, it's set up just like a restaurant. DotCom is in on the elaborate hoax, as the greeter, and Grizz is clanging together glasses and pouring water in the corner. Kenneth and Tracy, and the girl, sit down at a table by candlelight.
Just as Dr. Baird's daughter Bethany begins to tell Lemon about the sexual favors she performed to earn the five bracelets on her wrist, Dr. Baird walks back into the room and gets a phone call from his sister Gloria. She's crying. It appears that mom has taken a turn for the worse, and now he must go visit her in the hospital. Lemon assumes he'd want to call off the date at this point, but it's quite the opposite. He asks her to join him. Bethany chugs the remainder of the wine from the bottle.
Meanwhile, on Kenneth/Tracy's date with the blind girl, a soft piano imbues the room with romance. "Entertainment?" asks Jennifer. Jenna is set to sing a romantic song, but not before Tracy can ad-lib, "Not just any entertainment. The best singer in the world, Michael McDonald." It's like an episode of Whose Line Is It, Anyway? Jennifer shrieks in enjoyment, and Jenna hammers out a horrible rendition of "What A Fool Believes." By the way, did you know February is Michael McDonald History Month? He's everywhere of late, and that's a good thing. "He's not good live," whispers Jennifer.












