Thanks to Drew's insane gorgeosity, Lemon realizes that fantastic-looking people lead charmed lives that are not entirely deserved. The perks include offers from Calvin Klein to model underwear, despite merely brushing past him on the street in full winter garb; snagging a walk-in table at the hottest restaurant in town; scoring a tennis court from Gayfaces International, and everyone telling you you're the best at whatever you're doing, regardless of skill. Unfortunately for Lemon, this includes sex. Unfortunately for Drew, this includes doctoring. Cue Lemon's self-Heimlich. Lemon decides to inform of his shortcomings, and he seems game... for about five seconds. Then her plan all crumbles faster than a block of feta under a sledgehammer. Drew overcomes his frustration with leading a normal life and invites Lemon back into his life. She almost accepts, but the offer comes with a ride on his motorcycle, whose license plate may or may not read "DETHTRAP." Lemon wisely refuses, and thus endeth Dremon.
Jack renews Tracy's TGS contract, then unwittingly undermines himself by telling Tracy he really has no need to work anymore, since he earned an obscene amount of money last year. Tracy quits on the spot. Jack must employ a disastrous Bill Cosby impression, a fruitless Billy Dee Williams impersonation, and, finally Tracy's sassy kids, who make my life and are just as pissed about Tracy quitting as Jack -- mainly on account of Tracy's Eddie Murphy-level egotism in thinking he can start a musical career. In a last-ditch effort, Jack strategically employs Kenneth to prod at Tracy's weakness (a.k.a. being unable to do anything for himself). Kenneth proves unfit for this task, so Jack pulls a double-dog whamboozle and pretends to fire Kenneth, thereby tricking Tracy into returning.
Jenna concocts another press-grab scheme-slash-reinvention tour (with one stop). She plans to cut her luscious locks for charity on The Today Show. However, the minute she learns Tracy quit TGS, she backs out... even though she is live on air with scissors mid-clip. Last we saw, she was unaware of Tracy's return and furiously looking for a bottle of weave glue.
We open as Lemon heads out for lunch with Drew. Kenneth gives her some sage advice... from the Wild West. Tracy interrupts because he has certain cravings that only Kenneth can predict. Kenneth goes off with him to rub his feet, and Lemon runs into Jack. They discuss Tracy's upcoming contract negotiation and reminisce about all the wacky events of the last three years. Jack mentions that he is handling Tracy's contract negotiation himself, which might be difficult because Tracy no longer has any need for money. Jack thinks that his personal relationship with Tracy will trump any of Tracy's monetary needs. He shows Lemon the "BFF" bracelet that matches Tracy's. Lemon learns that there is another, far dirtier meaning to "BFF" than "Best Friends Forever." I do not even want to know when it comes to Tracy Jordan... Likewise, Lemon walks off in disgust.
A little while later, she and Drew are walking in the snow, chatting. Except they can't even complete a sentence because Drew is too busy being ogled by every Tom, Dick and Carrie on the street. In the span of a minute, he gets complimented by a random female passer-by, wiggles out of a parking ticket, and is asked by Calvin Klein to be an underwear model. Keep in mind, Drew is fully clothed from the neck down. Now you and I know that John Hamm actually looks like this underneath it all, but for all CK1 knows, he could end up with some serious butter body hanging up in Times Square. Credits.
Back on set, Lemon learns the dirty secret of the beautiful world -- hot people get better treatment... and nookie in public places. Jack explains that The Bubble isn't always a bad thing, as was the case with him. Lemon gives him a "Bitch, please!" eye roll, so Jack pulls out a picture of a much younger, much better-looking self. Then he explains that, obviously, the perks don't last forever, so she should enjoy them while the gettin's good. Jack puts his reverse portrait of Donaghy Gray back in the protective case from which it came.
Over in the writers' room, Jenna announces that she is going to cut her hair for charity. Kenneth asks why. She explains that Tracy has stolen her own spotlight, so now she has to create her own publicity opportunities. She announces that she is getting her hair cut this Friday on The Today Show.