30 Rock

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B- | 2262 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Hey, Good Lookin', Don't Poison Me with Your Cookin'

In This Economy...
Jack: Anyway, you know I'm handling the Tracy thing myself?
Lemon: Right! Play hardball! Get your business jollies!
Jack: Sadly enough, this time, with Tracy, it's not about money anymore. His company made a fortune, and he invested it all in a company that dismantled bank signs. They're doing very well.

You Don't Say!
Jack: You went to Plunder for lunch? How did you get a table?
Lemon: I don't know! It was packed, but the hostess just gave Drew a table. It is ridiculous how people treat him. The chef sent over food. Ladies sent over drinks. Mayor Bloomberg asked him to dance...
Jack: Well, beautiful people are treated differently from... moderately pleasant-looking people.
Cerie: It's true. [Flits off.]
Jack: They live in a bubble -- a bubble of free drinks, kindness and outdoor sex.

Mary Magdalene + Miss Piggy = Heaven in a Vignette
Jenna: Everyone gather 'round please, actor announcement! As you probably know, especially if you read Page Six... of my publicist's e-mails... I have decided to cut my hair and donate it to charity.
Kenneth: But Miss Maroney! Why would you cut your beautiful hair? You look just how I picture Mary Magdalene!
Jenna: Because I'm a selfless person who can't get arrested in this town. Meanwhile, Tracy's Jordan's face is everywhere.
Pete: Jenna, I already explained that. That was a police sketch of a flasher who happened to look like Tracy... we hope.
Jenna: Whatever. He's hogging the buzz!
Frank: You've got buzz! You were in that magazine that time.
[Show: Full-page picture magazine shot of Jenna in "Who Wore It Better?" getting schooled by the exquisite Miss Piggy, 84% to 16%.
Jenna: I don't even know what you're referring to -- and that was two years ago!

Now That You Mention It...
Jack: Tracy, I hope you know how much we value you here at TGS. I like to think of this staff as a family.
Tracy: This is better than a family! No one around here asks me for my damn bone marrow.
Jack: Well, why don't we make this easy around here and renew your existing contract with a three percent increase?
Tracy [waits about four beats]: Okay. Sorry it took me so long to answer. I was just thinking about how weird it is that we eat birds.

30 Rock

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