666 Park Avenue
Pilot

Episode Report Card
admin: C | 2 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Sympathy for the Rent-Controlled
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Ah, the symphony. Hellmouth of sleepiness. Terry O'Quinn and Vanessa Williams look bored as shit. The first-chair violinist has a cut on his finger and he is spraying blood all over his music and shoes. Yikes. I can hardly type when I have a paper cut. Now all of his fingers are bleeding. Groooooss. Terry O'Quinn watches, malevolently. (To be fair, it's nearly impossible for him to look otherwise.)

The violinist runs through the storm into his fancy apartment building and into the elevator. In his apartment, he throws things frantically into a suitcase. He smashes his violin and runs out of the apartment. But as soon as he gets downstairs, all the doors slam shut. A phone rings. Like, one that's attached to the wall. It's even a rotary. Children, that's what the phones at my grandma's house looked like. The violinist answers and Terry O'Quinn remarks, "Hard to believe it's been ten years, Mr. Hartwell." The violinist begs for more time. Terry says nope, sorry sucka. He tells a story about a violinist who wasn't quite talented enough but who would've given anything to be the best, and says he, Mr. Hartwell, signed a binding contract that has now run out. He hangs up. Hartwell breaks through the front doors and out into the storm. The doors slam behind him and then a peephole opens and he's suddenly sucked back inside. The camera pans over to the address, 999 Park Avenue, but when the shadows reflect up, it's 666 Park Avenue. Well, no it's not, because "Park Avenue" would also be upside down and... you know what, it's too early for this shit. So "666" it is.

Sweeping panoramic views of Manhattan! So pretty! So expensive! A lovely young couple played by Dave Annable from Brothers & Sisters -- and the hilarious one-season Fox melodrama Reunion -- and Rachael Taylor the Failed Charlie's Angel pull up in front of 999 in a beat-up yellow Volvo. Dave remarks that they can't afford to rent a closet in this building. Eh, I slept in a closet for five years. It wasn't too bad. At least it was dark. Maybe it was more like a pantry.

Inside, Rachael remarks that she recognizes the building from Architectural Digest. They find the bellman (who is Dr. Dave from ER!) and ask for Mr. Doran. Dave asks them to sign in and they introduce themselves as not-married Jane and Henry. A teenage girl in a knit cap asks if her grandmother's package has arrived, and Dave brushes her off, pretty rudely, actually. Dude. Be nice to the tenants. Anyway, Jane and Henry are there to interview to be the building managers. Dave sends them up to see Mrs. Doran in the penthouse.

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666 Park Avenue

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