666 Park Avenue

Episode Report Card
Sara Brady: C | 2 USERS: C+
Sympathy for the Rent-Controlled

In the penthouse, Vanessa introduces herself as Olivia Doran, and goes to get her husband, Gavin. He tells them the resident manager is responsible for basic upkeep, maintenance, and collecting the rent at the Drake. He asks where they're living now, and Henry says "Queens." They're subletting a one-bedroom. Gavin barely stops himself from vomiting delicately all over the desk. Jane babbles that they were looking for apartments on Craigslist and saw the ad (which I kind of doubt was on Craigslist? Gavin still looks like he's going to hurl just from hearing the word) and figured they could handle it. Henry works for the mayor and Jane doesn't have a job -- her job at an architectural firm fell through. "This is New York -- not everybody gets to make it," Gavin says blithely. He tells Henry and Jane they don't look like they know what they're doing and thanks them for coming.

As they turn to go, Jane asks Gavin when he had the building's foundation retrofitted. He asks why he'd do that. She explains that the mob-controlled concrete suppliers back in the 1920s, when the building was erected, cut corners and so it's a good idea to reinforce the foundations of buildings that old, just in case New York gets hit by an earthquake or a hurricane or "some other nasty act of God." Gavin is impressed by Jane's knowledge and reconsiders them.

Dave gives Jane and Henry the tour. The building is twelve floors plus the Dorans' penthouse on the thirteenth. Ooh. Spooky. He says there are 388 residents total, and the building is all rental, the last one in the neighborhood, and Gavin likes to approve all the residents. That sounds kind of horrible. Dave confesses that he wanted the resident manager job, and when Jane apologizes, he gets all spiky and says it wasn't her decision, it's not like they took the job from him. In the hall they run into Brian Leonard, who greets Dave as "Tony" and tells him the trash chute is blocked and whines about having to walk down three flights of stairs. Poor lamb. Brian is a playwright, and he and his wife live on the sixth floor.

Tony unlocks 3B and shows Jane and Henry into today's selection of hardcore apartment porn: two bedrooms, two full baths, gas fireplaces in the master bedroom and living room. Henry asks what happened to the previous manager. Mr. Hartwell (dun dun DUN!) moved "someplace warmer," Tony says. "Arizona, I think." I've often considered Arizona pretty hellish myself. Tony hands over the keys and Jane and Henry make out because oh my God LOOK at the FLOORS.

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666 Park Avenue




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