7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: C- | 408 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Ushering in the crap

Usher finds Carl, sitting alone on a bench. Carl doesn't really want to talk, so Usher tells him a story about getting dumped by his girl right before their anniversary. He says he "got it bad, man." This is a reference to Usher's hit song, "You Got It Bad." Lame! And probably required in his contract. "If I'm not performing, I want to at least MENTION one of my songs." Anyway, Usher was in a bad way until one of his friends suggested he talk to a counselor at school. This is the Very Special Moment, kids. The lesson is, Talk To A Counselor. Ding ding ding! Emily and Eric approach and ask that Carl get help too. Carl is all, what do you care. Emily says that just because she doesn't want to date or marry Carl doesn't mean she doesn't give a shit. It might seem that way, but she says it doesn't. Carl, who acts as if he's watched a lot of Christian Slater videos and takes all his acting cues from those '80s relics, says he feels bad all the time. Eric steps up and asks Carl just get through this day, and maybe all he needs is help? Oh, you magnificent bastard! It's true! All the suicidal kid needs is...help! Eric, of course, speaks slowly and with lots of "uhs," indicating that he realizes all HE needed was a little help to get through the difficult post-bypass time in his life. What a great way to tie it all in! Carl looks at Emily and asks how she could do this to him. She says she doesn't want to be dragged down with him, and his inability to love himself made her want to leave. Eric says he can take Carl somewhere where he can get help for the rest of his life. Carl is all, "You mean church. I thought you said you quit." Eric says he needs "a little help walking back in the door." Usher actually says, "Amen!" Yeah, lean on the guy that wants to kill himself. Carl recalls a "little place by the beach" that might be nice to get help. Emily thinks that's a great idea. The piano and guitar play optimistically.

Beach place, I guess. Carl tells Usher he has no family, just a "sister who lives in Denver with her fourth husband." And thanks for making up that story. Usher laughs. Carl asks if he hired the Rev because he knew Carl was spiraling. Usher says sort of. Mainly he wanted to help RevEric "come to his senses. Sorry!" He and Carl have a nice laugh about that. Oh, ha ha, Eric's problems were more important than yours, suicidal guy! The head of the rehab comes out of his office with Eric and suggests that they grab some coffee and start talking. Carl says he guesses that sounds better than killing himself. No one laughs. Probably because even for gallows humor, it wasn't funny. What would have been funny would have been a comment like, "Have you had our coffee? You might reconsider!"

7th Heaven

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP