Lucy tells her mom she's heading down to the pool hall to hang with her robot fiancé and his hot cop partner. Not because she wants to, but because she has to. "Sometimes love sucks!" Sigh. And did Annie listen to Eric on the air? No, Annie is "not supporting" Eric's new career. Bitch.

Promenade. Eric, Usher, and Heartbreak Girl split up to look for Carl the suicide king. A suicidal guy will be hanging out on the promenade? Whatever.

Club Minor is pulsing with action. Oh, ew. The bass is bumping. Boom boom boom boom. It sounds just like a tacky person's car stereo. Simon pops and locks his way right into Cecilia's heart. My lunch pops its way on out of my stomach. Ben stands alongside the dance floor, looking like a big old tree. Cut him open and count the rings! It'll be fun. Some brace-faced girls stare at him and giggle. Ben shakes his head. Dude? Leave. Cecilia slumps over, shoulders rounded, and says girls are staring at him because he reminds them "of their parents." Ben, sounding exactly like Duff Man, says, "Simon is SO dead." He could have added an "OH yeah!" Cecilia says uncaringly that maybe all the hot older women come to the club on Wednesdays. She then "dances" her way over to Simon. She looks like a slumpy orangutan. Not. Good. A young gal approaches Ben and asks him to dance. He say he's older than he looks. She says he looks "really old" and that she's "okay with that." Hee. He says no, and she shouts, "Tease!" Sing it, sister. Don't put the product on display if it isn't priced to move. Ben wanders off, and the hot older woman we saw walking into the club walks up to him. She's been watching him, and she has to know something. How old is Ben? And how did he get in there? Ben smiles and says that a friend hooked him up with a fake ID. She smiles and says that she got in because she owns this club. Ben smiles and says that he's in a lot of trouble, isn't he. He is. Boom boom boom.