KRHL, 109.9! Carl calls back. Eric is all, "Are you okay?" Carl says, "Doo, doo doo." He can't hear himself; he wants to be on the radio! Put him on or he'll hang up! He has something to say to someone who's listening! Eric gives in and goes back on the air. Which isn't smart, but this is SevHev. Carl wants to out the person that did this to him. His ex. Then "everyone will know that Emily...Cooper...broke [his] heart and is a terrible person." Click. C-Carl? Usher gets on the mic and says, "We lost him again."
Cop Station. Kevin, furious, rushes up to Roxanne's desk and says he's not changing partners. Roxanne says it isn't his decision. Kevin, who's so angry it's scary, says Lucy is "a little bit insane" but she'll "come around." Roxanne insists that it just isn't working. Good gawd. The problem is Kevin! I'm going to get that stitched on a pillow. He's a stubborn, controlling asshole who's inconsiderate to the needs of everyone around him. No woman is allowed to be happy in his presence. Roxanne is "just plain tired" of waiting for Lucy to come around, so she can have Kevin all to herself. "It's for the best." Kevin says the most horrible thing ever: "This isn't what [he] wants, so how can it be for the best?" That is so sick. It's called the greater good, ever heard of it? I can't believe how bad this show has gotten in just the four weeks I've been recapping it. It makes me want to...well, I don't want to say kill or die, because then I'll probably have a Camden on my back offering to "help," and thus furthering their own pyscho agenda. Roxanne says she will "never win," so they should just "split up now."
Ben stalks the Promenade, alone, alone. He runs into Simon and Cecilia. Cecilia is all, "Didn't [Simon] say you just got dumped and are lonely and desperate?" Come on out to Club Minor! Ben says that if it's a sea of teens in braces, he'll look like an ass. Simon is all, "Small price to pay for a babe!" ["Also, 'too late!'" -- Sars] Ben folds faster than a house of cards: he's in. What an idiot.
Usher and Eric carry the responsibility of being a college talk show DJ as if it were an anvil. Actually...oh, never mind. They still can't trace Carl. "This is getting pretty scary," says Usher. That is so meta. They sit sadly by the console. Hello? The show? A teary, quivery lady rushes into the booth. She's Emily. The girl that hurt Carl. You know, Carl, "the guy that wants to kill himself? We gotta stop him!" If you say so, lady.
CamPound. Lucy prances up into The Most Unfinished Of Rooms and tells Kevin she missed him at dinner. Kevin angrily laces his shoes, then says bitterly that he's going to meet Roxanne at the pool hall. Lucy is all, I said you should go. And why is he so angry? Because Roxanne wants a new partner, and it's "all because of [Lucy]." Oh, if only Lucy just did everything Kevin wanted. Then she'd be perfect! And perfectly ugly. Lucy can't hide how pleased she is at the news. Kevin is so scary when he's angry. Lucy says that she tried to like Roxanne, that she "tries to like everybody," but sometimes you just can't. Oh, word. Fire me for agreeing with Lucy, please. ["Done." -- Sars] Lucy says she "hate[s] that a woman that good-looking is riding around in a car with [Kevin] all day. It makes [Lucy] insane!" Kevin says, so you don't trust Roxanne. Duh! And, she's right! Roxanne totally tried to get Kevin to kiss her, and he DID kiss her to piss Lucy off. Kevin makes a ludicrous argument that he and Roxanne are good together and he's not going to lose her -- Lucy, on the other hand, is hanging by a thread. He's out of there. Lucy? Kick his ass to the curb. Kevin sucks.