7th Heaven
A Cry For Help

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: D+ | Grade It Now!
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Ushering in the crap

Beach place, I guess. Carl tells Usher he has no family, just a "sister who lives in Denver with her fourth husband." And thanks for making up that story. Usher laughs. Carl asks if he hired the Rev because he knew Carl was spiraling. Usher says sort of. Mainly he wanted to help RevEric "come to his senses. Sorry!" He and Carl have a nice laugh about that. Oh, ha ha, Eric's problems were more important than yours, suicidal guy! The head of the rehab comes out of his office with Eric and suggests that they grab some coffee and start talking. Carl says he guesses that sounds better than killing himself. No one laughs. Probably because even for gallows humor, it wasn't funny. What would have been funny would have been a comment like, "Have you had our coffee? You might reconsider!"

Pool hall. Roxanne sinks a shot, and she and Kevin hug. Just then, Lucy walks in. She asks to speak to Roxanne alone; she wants Roxanne "to stay [sic] Kevin's partner." And she's sorry she hasn't been more friendly towards Roxanne. Roxanne smirks and laughs. Lucy says she knows they aren't "going to shake hands and be friends overnight," but maybe they can try and someday...oh, barf. Roxanne says she'll stay as Kevin's partner, but "if things don't get better..." She's threatening Lucy? With what? God, I hate this show. Kevin comes up and says he loves Lucy. Isn't she going to say it back? She says she would only do this for a man she loves. Now let's play pool! Ugh.

Simon yells at Ben. He ruined everything! He got busted with a fake ID and got Simon's "doorman friend" fired! Yes, it's all Ben's fault. Kick him out of the house, Simon. Simon says he really thought there'd be girls Ben's age at the club. Ben says going out with Simon was like "hitting rock bottom, then digging down lower." Now, he's ready to "get out there and start dating again!" In a few months, he can look back at getting busted at the underage club and laugh and laugh. Or look back at the underage club, remember the girl who asked him to dance, and wonder if he'll ever see her again.

Annie and Ruthie have a little talk about boys. Annie says Eric didn't like her, and now they're married. Does that mean Ruthie could marry Jake one day? Oh yes, definitely.

Kitchen. Eric walks in, weary from all the helping and being helped. Annie asks if it felt good to be helping people again. Eric sighs heavily and says he feels like he's in The Godfather: Each time he tries to get out, they pull him back in. Oy. Hoo-ah! Annie speechifies: Helping people is Eric's calling. Eric is a minister, not a DJ or a cook or a farmer or a computer technician. A minister. "Go back to the church." Eric says he'll think about it. Annie says she'll "take it." Where, in the ass?

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7th Heaven

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